Another round! ...it's the 'pits'!

Well, we got through the strepthroat.
We got through the colds.
Now it's the stomach flu. Ugh. It's just Graeme so far, but hopefully the kids and I are able to steer clear.

So I went to a Beth Moore live simulcast on Saturday. Beth Moore is the author of about 10 women's Bible studies. She makes God's Word come alive unlike anyone else I've ever had the privilege of learning from. Goodness, there's even stuff in Daniel that I understand now!

Anyway, there was SO much I learned, I'm still trying to absorb it all. Her message was one of deliverance from the pit. What is a pit? Well, Beth Moore describes a pit as "Satan's attempt to bury you alive." Pretty good analogy, I'd say! There are pits of depression, addiction, unforgiveness, etc, etc, etc... Yup, Satan can surely bury you alive with those to a place where you feel completely joyless, without peace, and useless!

There are a couple things I've learned thus far that have actually stuck. (The rest, I'm still trying to process. :)

How do we end up in a pit?

• We can be thrown in: by illness, sudden death of a loved one, etc. That is, we didn't sin our way into it. We fell in because of circumstances beyond our control.
• We can slip in: via 'unplanned sin'. For example: "I just meant to diet, I didn't mean for it to become an obsession and to let it control my life!"
• We can jump in: i.e. planned pit-dwelling via adulterous activities, murder, etc.

Sometimes I wonder, "Am I in a pit right now, or is this just part of life?" Beth Moore had three questions we can ask ourselves to really answer that question:

• Do I feel stuck?
• Can I get get my footing?
• Have I lost my vision?

If I answer yes to any of these, then chances are, yes, I'm in a pit!! And I gotta get OUT!!!

Have I been in a pit before? Absolutely. Am I completely out of it? Sometimes I'm not sure. Usually, I think so. But I often feel like I just can't get my bearings with certain aspects of my life - this is different from simply being unsure of what to do. If I know what I need to do to take hold of the situation, but simply can't get my footing to set the wheels in motion, then chances are that "Yup, I'm still a pit-dweller."

God has so much more in store for my life!! Life in the pit is, well, 'the pits'.

The funny thing is, most people who 'know' me would never guess that I have deep dark areas that I struggle with. They probably are reading this going, "Yeah, whatever, what does she know about being down in the dumps?"

Over the next few days, I'm going to explore more of what I learned on Saturday. It's too much for one post, and I still need to do more processing before I can fully address them here. Let's just say that even though sleep-deprivation is still very much a part of my life, the wheels of my one lone brain cell are rolling full force!

Stay tuned...

Happy birthday to me!

Yes, it was my birthday yesterday - thank you to everyone who wished me Happy Birthday! I appreciated all the phone calls and cards and e-cards! They made my day!

On Sunday, my Mom & Allen came over after church for lunch. Then my mom took the boys out for a wagon ride while Graeme and I had a brief snooze. It was fun for everyone! The boys loved being outside with Gramma Rita.

On Monday, I slept, and slept, and slept. See, I'd had a really bad cold followed by a nasty cough again. And I simply had a hack attack that wouldn't stop! So Graeme (my drug pusher - ha ha! - for those of you accessing my blog from somewhere else that don't know me that well, Graeme is a pharmacist!)...well, he had me take some codeine as a cough suppressant. Well, it worked. Almost too good. I zonked out and there was no budging me! The house coulda been on fire and I wouldn't have known. Actually, Graeme got up and gave Dustin a bottle for his 1 a.m. waking. When I got up at 5:00 to nurse Dustin (again -yeesh, that boy is a PIG!), I could barely stumble to his room. My leg kept buckling under me. I don't drink, but I thought, "Hmm, this is what it must feel like to be drunk!" So then in the morning, Graeme got up with both boys, and when he put Dustin down for his nap, he took Joshua out to run some errands. Then I woke up when Dustin finally woke up. So basically, I slept from midnight till 11:30. Wowzers!! It was glorious. And definitely needed.

Then, after running errands, Joshua and Graeme took Dustin and me out for lunch. It was just Dairy Queen, but it was a fun little outing. We had a nice little supper, and then family came over for cake and coffee afterwards. Some of our company stayed till midnight, so I was completely exhausted, but it was worth it.

Yesterday - my actual birthday - Oh, I'm so excited!! Graeme got me SUPER SCRABBLE for my birthday!! I love Scrabble, and we'd heard of Super Scrabble from our friends Ryan & Sharon. Basically, Super Scrabble is a bigger game board (3 extra rows on each of the 4 sides) with more letters (200 instead of 100), and more premium points squares, almost double! AND, there are some quadruple word scores on there, too! I wished we hadn't been so tired or we would have played last night. But we had to watch Prison Break first - we'd recorded it the night before - and we were both just so exhausted from the previous night's late-ness.

So, Friday night is date night. We'll stay in and play Super Scrabble!!!!

Yah!

Oh yeah, we also had Chinese food for supper last night, too - a tradition for me. YUM!

Time to run - Carly and Darcy are coming over today to make invitations for Carly & Jordan's wedding. Graeme's dad will babysit for us - yeehaw! Should be fun! Tonight we're going to Carly's Dad's place for supper and centre-piece making and such, and maybe some sledding for the kid (me included). :)

Enjoy your day! Be blessed!

God's providence

I fear that this blog is becoming a bit of a downer place to be! It's certainly not my intent - it's just been a rough couple of weeks. Joshua now has strepthroat, and is hot and feverish and was up for 1 1/2 hours last night. Combine that with Dustin's wakings, and I'm a zombie. 'Tis a bit foggy today, I say.

I had a conversation with a wonderful lady last night that made my heart heavy. Heavy for her, and busy with thought. This amazing woman, whom I've grown to love dearly, lost two babies an hour after birth and miscarried another at 4 months. She does have two healthy teenagers now, who, I've come to realize, are true miracle children. God's power to keep her joyful in the midst of her circumstances is absolutely amazing. Surrendering her pain to God is a daily thing, I believe, and she is being used by Him as a result - she is being used to comfort others in their loss, to guide others in their uncertainties, and to bless others with her gentle spirit. "I want to be like her when I grow up."

How can a loving God allow such hurt and pain? This is something we may never know here on this earth. She echoed something I learned several years ago after our second miscarriage: God has been so sovereign in every other area of my life, who am I to doubt Him even in this even though I can't understand it? God's Word tells us that with the measure of comfort we receive from Him in our pain, we are able to comfort others. I came out of an alcoholic and abusive home: did God cause my dad to be the way he was? No, but He allowed it. He also allowed, for some reason, two babies to be taken from me. He has a plan and a purpose - all things work together for good to those that love God, remember (Rom 8:28)? If God protected us from every single trial, then we'd never build character.

My words fail to reach the depth of God's providence. My humanness will never be able to grasp the entirety of God's grace and providence. Sometimes my humanness will even make me forget that God is gracious and loving. The thing is this: God doesn't get mad at us for asking questions. God doesn't even get mad at us for being angry with Him. His love and forgiveness is ever-reaching and all-encompassing. It is on this Solid Rock I stand, when everything else around me is sinking. Thank you, Lord!

Quit messin' with me!

Okay, so someone is playing a game with me here....this certain goofball has left an anonymous comment on one of my posts. When I asked who it was, the person simply said, "Yes, it's me!"

Duh!!

This means WAR!!

And just so you know, naps are NOT happenin' these days. Sigh. Now Josh has strep throat. :( Poor buddy.

More ranting later... :)

A fun day!

Today was a pretty nifty day for me. First off, my dear hubby let me go back to sleep after nursing Dustin this morning. I slept...and slept...and slept...until Dustin needed to be nursed again 3 hours later! It was glorious!

Then after an hour or so of Dustin being grumpy, he went back to bed. Graeme took Joshua out to go to Canadian Tire to look at mitre saws. And then they went for lunch to A&W. And they were kind enough to bring me some lunch, too, especially considering that Dustin's nap was terrible and he was just crankin', crankin', CRANKIN'!! Oh, he was so grouchy and miserable.

I got to work on some Stampin' stuff - for those of my Clubbers who check in here, FYI I was working on finishing up your techniques manuals for the projects we did in the last 3 months of our Club. I'm almost done! Woo hooooo!

After Joshua woke up, I was starting to feel pretty rotten myself, so Daddy encouraged me to get out with him. So, Daddy kept the Crankypants Dustin here while I took J for a sled-ride! It was so much fun! It's a bit of a walk to the hill, but it's worth it. He had so much fun - and he learned how to lean when he was going down the hill so that he can make himself wipe out. He did about half a dozen face plants, and loved every single one of 'em. Then we spent some time actually rolling down the hill...then we went home, I made hot chocolate for us, we all ate dinner, gave the kids a bath, got them to bed, and now we're about to make popcorn and watch a movie. Which movie, I'm not sure, but we've got a few we can pull off our PVR and choose from.

It will be a relaxing evening. It's been a tough week with Dustin being sick and still so crabby. Graeme said that Dustin could be crabby because the antibiotics he's on for his strep throat could be causing some stomach upset, which could be why he's also not eating decently. I'd be grouchy, too, if I wasn't eating!! Where's my popcorn??!!

Okay, off to relax!

I'm confused...

Okay, I'm going to admit it, I can't break the code and the mystery - someone left a comment on my blog from my previous post and forgot to sign their name, so I have no idea who it was!! Is it Mom? Is it Sharon? Is it Aunt Marie? I just don't know!!! Perhaps you'd like to enlighten me!!??? Puh-leeeeeze????

Dustin is doing much better. He hasn't had a fever in over 24 hours. He didn't nurse much at all yesterday, nor did he eat very well, so he was a bit cranky from that as well as the sore throat that likely caused his hunger strike. (Why do they call it that, anyway? Wouldn't a hunger strike be a 'strike from hunger', rather than a strike from eating? Shouldn't we call it an 'eating' strike? Sigh. I digress.)

Anyway, yes, Dustin started eating again more normally late last night and this morning. He still isn't doing great in the solid food department, but that's secondary anyway. He has definitely had his cranky moments, though, and has started to get grumpy when someone other than Mommy starts holding him.

We spent much of the day at Gramma & Grampa's today. I just popped in for a quick visit, and we ended up staying for lunch, for the kids' naps, for after-nap snacks, etc. Got home around 5:00. Then it was make dinner, shower, eat dinner, clean the kitchen, and rush off to choir! Ooooh, I'm gonna pay for the vocal output tonight. I'm still not back up to full power, and tonight probably set me back a day or two. :( Oh well, it was fun anyway.

Time to wind down my night!

Almost out of the woods?

This afternoon around 4:00, Dustin finally started acting normal. He spiked his fever to 104.9 for about a 6 hour stretch yesterday afternoon/evening/night, so he was a bit of a weepy pitiful mess. It was so sad. His fever slowly subsided today, and later on, he started initiating peek-a-boo again, started laughing, and smiling....it was the highlight of my day, to see my sick li'l fella perk up a bit, even if it's only for a while. He was able to have some fun time with Daddy after Daddy got home from work. So much different. We'll see if it lasts beyond his nap.

Joshua was able to have a fun day. He was pretty whiny and miserable this morning himself, but it had mostly to do with the fact that he wasn't getting any real attention or playtime from his Mommy on account of a sick little brother. So we called in the reinforcements, a.k.a. Grampa, who came and picked him up after he was done his shift at the pharmacy. Joshua had a fun time with Grampa today, and apparently they are making waffles with Gramma for supper tonight, Joshua's request. They will drop him off on their way to Bible study tonight, probably in about half an hour or so.

Not much else is new in our neck of the woods. It's shaping up to be a busy week, despite missing Bible study this morning. Tonight we have some guy coming over, tomorrow night Graeme works late, Thursday night I have choir, and Friday night is date night, which will be games night at Curtis & Darcy's. YIKES!!

When does it end?

Yes, we have yet another illness in the house. I'm almost over my thing, although I couldn't sing for Sunday's service. :( That was sad. I'm still pretty raspy and hoarse, but other than that, I'm feeling pretty good.

Now, the kids are sick. Again. What's up with that? Well, Joshua woke up from yesterday's nap with a fever, but it settled and by nightfall he was back to his old ways: escaping from his bedroom, being mischievously cute, and the like. Dustin, on the other hand, started getting a fever yesterday afternoon. We broke it by nightfall with some tylenol, but in the middle of the night, poor gaffer was up to 102.2. More tylenol, and the fever subsided again. Then, this morning, he was up to 103.6!!! This time, advil went in. So far, so good. But we're not past the 'medicated window' yet. Regardless, he actually had some solid food for the first time in about 24 hours earlier this afternoon. And he played a bit. And he smiled!!!

Last night didn't hold much sleep, so now that both kids are down, I'm going to do the same and maybe catch up on some of what was lost.

My friend Sharon is in S'toon this week. It's her birthday today! Joshua called her this morning to sing Happy Birthday to her; it was pretty sweet. I had a nice chat with her...but I'm missing her multi-daily e-mails! Bah - she's busy with her sister and her niece and nephew, so I can't begrudge her of that. The only thing I ask in return is that she comes over for a stampin' play date in my craft room when she gets home! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHARON!

Still no picture-uploading ability on my blog - so sorry! (I wish they'd fix it already!) They're in the middle of updating their blogger and some of us are having troubles (still) until everyone gets switched over to the new blogger. Hang in there!

Quote for the day: Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued is just out of of grasp...but if you will sit quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Brain on strike

So I'm still sick. Like I can hardly talk, my throat is so messed up from this cold. Yesterday, Graeme's parents bailed me out and came over in the afternoon to look after the kids while I rested. I couldn't sleep, but it was nice and refreshing and 'healing' not to have to run after the kids all afternoon. What a blessing!

I ended up e-mailing in sick from choir tonight. I figured, what's the point if I can barely talk? Craziness, I say. Andrea understood, thankfully. I can count on one hand the number of times a cold has been so bad that I haven't been able to sing through it. I just feel crummy because our first 'performance' song is this Sunday. We normally sing every Sunday for the regular worship service, but this particular Sunday we are supposed to be doing a special song. I am one of 3 or 4 sopranos (yes, it's a small choir), so if even one person is missing, you notice. And, not to toot my own horn, but I've got a pretty strong and confident lead soprano voice. So I really missed being there tonight.

So anyway, I figured that since I was desperate for groceries, and that I didn't need my voice to get groceries, that I should go grocery shopping. Imagine my shock, 1 1/2 hours later, when I reached the checkout afte a shopping trip that should have taken half that time. Obviously my brain wasn't functioning as efficiently as I thought it was, nor was my body capable of the task which I so lovingly demanded of it. :( A little sluggish, perhaps? Good grief!!

At least I have enough groceries and cleaning supplies to last me for a while!

Time for bed. I'm absolutely beat. I bit off more than I can chew. I wasn't ready or healthy enough for this!! Oh well - one little setback shouldn't set me back for too long....

'nighty night!