Skiing Lessons

Today I took the boys to the Strathcona Wilderness Centre.  It's the annual "Snow Day" - and the day was perfect!!

My knees have still been really sore, but I've been medicating from the inside out AND the outside in, and doing all kinds of therapy.  And I found my old knee brace and put it on also.  My left knee in particular is quite bad, but it was stable enough to enjoy the quick "free" one-hour group lesson today.  All the kids went to one group, and all the adults went to another.  It was probably a good idea, as Dustin was exhausted at the end of it all and would likely have been whining to me half-way through if I'd been around!  Joshua, however, was a rock star and wanted to keep going afterwards.  He's gonna be my ski buddy!!  Dustin is such a little tyke, still, so I totally get that he's going to take a while to get into it.  He did so well, and was pleased that he even won a race!

So I actually did learn a few things in my lesson today!  I'm excited to go out and try skiing again.  And, I'm SUPER thankful that my knees feel much better tonight than they did even this morning!  That's a relief, for sure.  I'm looking forward to my next physio appointment and learning how to "tape" my knees up until they're strong enough to support themselves - the taping itself can be used to re-train muscles and joints, apparently.  I'm intrigued by it!

Missing you...

I know, Jillian, I know.

I miss you, too.

My muscles aren't nearly as sore as they ought to be, but that's what happens when you're counting on me to show up, and I ditch you two days in a row.

I'm sorry, but I can't help it.

You might like to know that my daughter is feeling better, though.  However, when my husband left with the three biggest kids today to run errands and take them to the library, I took the opportunity during my baby's nap to *gasp* do dishes, run and fold some laundry, clean out the winter bin, clean out the dress-up bin, vacuum the carpet and main floor, clean out the van, and clean out my freezer.  I know there were a couple of other things in there, too, but I can't remember them all.  My baby was sleeping and I *had* to get some stuff done.

And tonight?  Well, tonight I'm going on a date with my husband to a work party.  Sorry, but he is just slightly more important than you are.  He won't exercise with me, but he probably loves me more.  Just sayin'.

You'll be happy to know, though, that I am still suffering... at the advice of my midwife, and in doing a whole lot of research over the years, a light bulb has finally gone on and I am giving up certain ingredients in my diet - for now.  We'll see if it makes a difference in how I feel overall or not.  I suspect it will, but the cravings are pretty intense.  You'll be happy to know that I'm staying strong.  You'd be proud of me, even if I didn't pull on the spandex and lace up the sneakers.  (You *don't* want to really see me in spandex...)

See you tomorrow... maybe?

Day Three

My date with Jillian didn't happen this morning.

My girlie had a 103.7 fever last night and is a complete disaster this morning.  She slept for over 13 hours, having gone to bed early last night.  Not sure what's wrong with her, but life is not happy right now.  It's impossible to cuddle with a crying 2-year-old while nursing a newborn.  Meaghan doesn't want to share mama.  She doesn't sit and watch TV, so I can't just plop her in front of the idiot box (did I really just call it that?  I must be grumpy) and go about my day.

The reality is that I've had at least one kid crying at all points during the entire morning.

Spencer is not napping today, either - he is down for 10 minutes and then starts screaming as though he hasn't eaten in about 3 days.  He slept sort of decently last night, thankfully, but between the sick girlie and the little baby up twice last night (only twice, thankfully!), I am exhausted.  Dustin has been taxing my reserves today as well.

I am mentally drained.

Isn't exercise supposed to help the state of mind?

Sigh.  Maybe later today.  She's counting on me!  (And no, she wouldn't understand... she doesn't have kids of her own!)

30-Day Shred?  Sure, I feel shredded, but not in a good way right now!

Committed

OK...

Yesterday was Day One.

Today was Day Two.

It's time.  Time for what, you ask?  Time for this:

I am officially 6 weeks and 2 days post-partum.  I had actually hoped to start formally exercising sooner, but it just didn't happen.  On the one hand, it feels like forever since Spencer joined our family, so it naturally feels like I've been slothing my way through my days, not exercising.  On the other hand, I have to remember that it's ONLY been 6 weeks, and that technically, I was still *recovering*.  Gah.  Still doesn't help how I feel about my body at this present moment in time...  I'm glad I've gotten in a few really big walks, though, often with Spencer wrapped to me.

So yesterday (June 22nd), Spencer was kind enough to wake up at precisely 6:41 a.m. to nurse.  He was also kind enough to be out cold, asleep again by 7:02 in bed beside me.  He was also kind enough to remind me (as I hike my nightshirt up to feed him) how amply soft and squishy my tummy is, and nice enough to point out that I had the perfect amount of time to complete a workout before Daddy had to leave for work.

(Have I ever mentioned how smart he is?  And have I ever mentioned what Joshua said to me about my tummy not being very flat yet?  Such motivators my boys are...)

The very first time I picked up this DVD about a year and a half ago, I popped it into the DVD player and proceeded to smoke Level One.  I honestly thought, "You know, I'm sweating, and it was challenging, but it wasn't that bad!"

The next morning, I couldn't walk down the stairs without holding onto the handrail like an old lady.  It took me about 4 days to recover.

Have I mentioned how long it's been since I've formally worked out?  Months.  And months.  Umm, let's see... I ran my half-marathon last August and felt sick during the last half of it.  Found out a week later that I was pregnant, and had been already during my half-marathon.  The morning sickness never stopped until week 22-ish, by which point I figured I was already so far gone from the exercise routine, why start up again?  (Ok, it wasn't that bad, but I was definitely not putting in a whole lot of effort... morning sickness, chased back with a healthy dose of the flu for most of us in the fall, add the strep incident for Joshua in the early spring... I just never recovered.)

So yeah, it's been a while.

Too long.

Now, while I have to say that I still didn't think level one was all that bad when I laced up my sneakers yesterday morning.  I definitely struggled a bit, but did every single thing demanded of me by sweet Jillian.  I sweated, and by the time I hit the shower right after my workout, I felt like I was going to pass out.  Literally.  Everything - and not just my amply soft and squishy tummy - was like jelly.  Maybe that's what I get to pay for working out first thing in the morning.  By last night, I was a little stiff.  Just a tiny bit in my pectorals.  Because, you know, with nursing, I need bigger pectorals to accentuate what's already there.

By this morning...?  Well, it wasn't terrible.  I was definitely stiff and sore, mostly my pecs and shoulders.

So, Spencer, being the smart boy that he is, decided it would be super helpful to wake up just a teeny bit earlier this morning - 6:20.  However, he forgot the part about going back to sleep, and finally zonked out at - you guessed it - 7:02.  What a consistent child!  He thought he'd help me work out by keeping me awake long enough that there's no way I'd be able to fall back asleep, so I might as well go work out...

So I did.

And it hurt.  It took a few minutes before my muscles were warmed up enough to not be absolutely screaming at me...  But Jillian and I?  We're becoming buddies.

By the end of the workout, I thought, "Hey, I can do level two!"  But alas, I was out of time.

But right now - about 15 hours post-workout-#2, I am very, very happy that I was not tempted to do Level Two.

My abs (upper, lower, and obliques) are sore.  My upper back is stiff.  My shoulders and pecs are still sore.  My glutes are sore (good to know there are still muscles in there!).  My hammies are sore, my quads are sore.  My triceps and biceps are even a teeny bit sore.

And we all know how much worse the stiffness gets overnight, when you haven't moved more than a couple of times all night long...

I won't be able to move tomorrow morning.

But Jillian and I?  We're buddies.  And she's counting on me to be there tomorrow.  It isn't called "30-Day Shred" for nothing.  That whole "20 lbs in 30 days" thing, I'm not so hung up on, because let's face it, at 6 weeks post-partum, the last thing I'm interested in doing is eating salads and chicken all day long. I can't tweak my diet the way I ultimately want to, quite yet.  I'd settle for 10 lbs, though... yeah.  I can do that.  Sadly, I have more weight to lose than I'd care to admit.

The good thing is this:  I know that I will be able to do it.  I've done it before, and I *will* do it again.  It might take me longer this time - I'm starting earlier and have to ease in a bit more than last time (mostly because I don't want to wreck my "recovering body"), and let's face it, until Graeme can lactate, I am stuck a little closer to home.  And really... Graeme, alone, with 4 kids?  I still want him to love me, so I shouldn't really do that to him, unless they're all sleeping when I head out.

This time, I have no gym membership.  I have no pool pass (though I will likely get a punch pass come fall time).  What I do have are my buddies Jillian and Bob (he has to wait for a while longer before he gets to spend any time with me, though), my running shoes, and my motivation.

And I have friends who love me even if I am packing around a little extra these days.

(I just realized that I'm not going to be able to do 30 days straight, since I'm leaving to go to Saskatchewan to visit a friend in a week, and will be there for several days... not sure I want to really "do that" to my hosts... it might be traumatic... maybe I'll bring my runners and hit the road a couple times instead.)

With that... it's 10:07.  I need my beauty sleep if I'm going to be ready for Jillian in the morning!

It's a New Year

I am not really a bit fan of "New Year's Resolutions".  Never really have been, though really, I definitely have made my fair share of them over the years.  Lose weight.  Stop eating sugar.  Lose weight.  Keep the house cleaner.  Go to bed before midnight at least half the days of the week (that was last year's - also broken, never reclaimed).  Oh, and lose weight, which I *was* able to do last year, but now I'm pregnant again... whoops!!  I guess I'll be having my own personal Biggest Loser Challenge again during May/June/July/August!  :)

This year?

I have no resolutions.

Or maybe I do...

I want to spend more "on the floor" time with my kids.  I've been doing much better with "hands on in chores" with them - teaching them how to fold laundry, load and unload the dishwasher, clean bathrooms, etc - but now it's time to be more intentional about sitting and playing games or just rough-housing.

I want to develop a routine by which I can actually have the kitchen clean before midnight.  The post-supper stuff often gets left until after the kids go to bed... this is not working for me.

I want to spend more time being an encourager - to my kids, to my friends, to my husband.

I want to dive into the Word more.  A few months ago I bought a chronological Bible, and I plan on starting it today, hoping to get through it this year.

I want to get back into my exercise routine, now that I'm not morning sick or "other-sick".

Would you believe I actually went for a run today?  I had committed to doing a Resolution Run (mostly for the fun winter running jacket, actually), which was today, but at the time of signing up, I either didn't yet know I was pregnant, or hadn't really clued into the fact that I would be 22-23 weeks along when I would be expected to run 5km.  Well, I actually did run about 75% of it!  I forgot my gloves (yikes!), but had my special grippers (thankfully - it was slick out there!), and while it was *not* a blistering pace by any stretch, I had a good time and felt good.  The pancakes and oranges after the event were pretty good, too.  :)

Now, it's 10:54... off to bed.  It's well before midnight, and the dishes are done, so I should make it before midnight...

What I'm up to today...

I took the boys to gymnastics.
I came home to find my dishes done and the house half cleaned.
I made lunch while the boys played on starfall.com.
Graeme vacuumed the house after the boys tidied up.
I slept for 11 1/2 hours last night... not straight, but pretty close (only two little feeding interruptions).  I must've been tired to actually sleep that long!
I am about to shower.
In a little less than an hour, I will wake Meaghan up, and we'll all go out to the summer camp I'm involved with for a dinner & program... and the boys will probably not eat (they don't like turkey dinners), but hopefully the rain will abate long enough that they can do some playing outside.
My back is killing me.
I'm not exercising enough any more, which is part of the reason my back is so sore.
That needs to change.
I need to get serious.

I need that "resolve" that Tama talked about in her blog post... I had that resolve, but it went away.  I need it back.  I'm going to get it back.

On Monday.  Really.  I have a plan!  :)

What it must look like

Yesterday morning I went to the gym, bright and early. Meaghan had been up anyway, so it was perfect timing to go for an early workout. I don't do them often, at all, so I counted this a stretch, especially considering that she'd been up THREE times that night.

Anyway.

So I did my half-hour elliptical... sweated a lot. This is a good thing!

Then I went to the treadmill. It was a busy morning, and so the only equipment open was on the track mezzanine (rather than the regular gym part).

I like watching people walk & run on the track. I like watching the faster runners, and watching their form, and timing how long it takes them to run a lap... so that I can sort of gauge how fast I am going as well.

But then...

There are these "corners" on the track, where there are warm-up sections.

There was this guy... probably around 55 or 60 years old... ipod strapped to his arm, tank top, track pants, runners... heart rate monitor...

...practicing his salsa dance moves. Alone.

I've never seen anyone practice dance moves on a track before.

The thing is, he was actually quite good!! I mean, I don't know a lot about dance, and for all I know, it wasn't even salsa!! But the guy didn't look awkward. He probably did this for almost half an hour... this man, in his little corner, holding his frame and doing his little steps.

I just thought, how odd. And, to most people, probably a little funny-looking.

Then I thought of what *I* must look like when I'm working out. I'm sure it's not pretty. I'm sure the guy practicing his latin dance moves looked better than I normally do.

Full moon

Normally my kids react a bit to the full moon.

I could've sworn today was *it*.

It isn't.  It's not for another week.

What gives?  They've fought, cried, screamed, irritated each other, and been horrible more in the first half hour today than they were all week last week.

Meaghan is screaming constantly today.  She's *off*.

I could rent 'em out.  For free.  I wouldn't even charge.

I'm a bit discouraged this week with workouts & such, too... I've been running tons - last night did a 5.99 mile run on the track at Millennium - it wasn't till I got home that I calculated the per-lap thing and found that I was just shy of a full 6 miles.  Oh yes, and then I capped it off with a 25.69 km bike ride on a level 10.  My workouts this week have all been 60-90 minutes of red-faced drippy/sweaty intensity.

And the weight is not budging this week.

I *think* it's the food this week, though am not sure.  I love having company over, but they're just not going to go for plain-jane veggies and 3 oz of meat and 1/2 cup of brown rice.  I've not been *bad* overall, so I'm just not sure what's going on!

It could be a plateau.. but really, if it's a case of "the math" like Jillian says, then I should be down a good 2 lbs this week... but I'm not.  I'm a little frustrated.  Today I'm hitting it with green tea and veggies and fruit, and we'll see if we can't get my body to wake up and loosen up!

Tomorrow will tell the tale... today is "last-chance workout" after small group tonight... must... avoid.... snacking...

Other updates...

So now that the Maui Chronicles are over, I guess I get to move into "real" life again!

Here's a mish-mash...

We have hopefully now come out of the other end of a bad biting phase with Miss Meaghan, who thought it would be fun to use Momma's breast as a teething toy.  This has, by far, been the most traumatic, stressful, and sad thing I've ever gone through while nursing my babies.  Joshua bit for a week when he was 8 months old.  Dustin lasted about 3 weeks.  We were going on 3 months with Meaghan, with no end in sight.  She has, however, thankfully decreased her biting to almost "non-existent".  I didn't supplement with a bottle, I fed her less often (just to see if she'd become desperate, but she didn't - she would still bite!!)  Towards the end, we were getting 20-30 bites a day, easily... and now, a week or so later, we are down to mayyyyybe one little nippy clamp per day.  Not so bad!!  I'm thankful for friends who care, who allow me to reach out in my distress and offer support, encouragement, and advice.  So, thank you.

Meaghan pulls to stand now.  I found her on her feet in her crib the other day.  Little stinker was so proud of herself!!  Time to put the crib rail up all the time now...

Meaghan finally learned to crawl on Sunday!!  She's been army-crawling for a while now, but finally decided to use the knees that God gave her for higher pursuits (her wiggly little bum is SOOOO cute!)... and last night she crawled right to the edge of the stairs and decided that she'd like to crawl down them.  It was only two (three?) stairs, down to the back entrance, and she went slow-motion so actually got "stuck" on the first stair.  :)  Kinda cute, but poor honey... I have NO idea how we're going to put baby gates up in this house.  Going to require some extra money and construction... anyone notice how they don't build new houses to accommodate baby gates?

We're gearing up for the spring & summer with our church!  Day camp registrations, preschool registration for Dustin, volunteering for day camps... I'm excited!  On second thought, I'm not sure if I'll volunteer or not; tagging Meaghan long makes 7 hours a really, really, really long day.  *sigh*  I want to help, but....

Graeme is back to work - working for his old business partner, part time.  Kind of a no-brainer cushy job... to tide him through, allow his brain to relax, and give him some space (and us some $$!) while he does some education and upgrading for certain pharmacy specialties and waits for such a position to open up.

Meaghan likes paperwork.  Specifically, she loves the green bin full of paper under my desk, where she often sits and plays while I work.  Or blog.  Or facebook.  :)  Gotta teach her early about the value of important documents, no?

I have the boys registered for their next rounds of swimming lessons in June, as well as starting them in gymnastics in a couple of weeks.  Dustin in particular is so nuts, and I fear for his safety.  Hopefully learning how his body works and being trained by someone doing something creative with his body (and in a SAFE manner) will help him to play a bit safer and not *try* to constantly land on his head.  Somehow, Momma telling him that he will break his neck is not deterring him.

I am going to be switching up worship teams for the next couple of months; one of the teams in our church needs a fill-in leader as their leader has two sons getting married this summer and she needs a break.  No kidding, hey?  Leading is not really something I'm in a "life-phase" for long-term... we just have overhauled our lives in a major way, and to just toss something else in to fill in the spaces is not going to help us.  To *be* on a team is not a huge deal; someone else does the admin, picks the songs, orchestrates the rehearsals, and I just get to show up and be part of it.  So anyway, I've agreed to fill in for two months, but not long-term.  I don't think they're looking for anyone long-term, but it could be a possibility.  I love, love, love leading worship, but if I took on leading a team long-term, it would be a case of "the right thing at the wrong time".

Joshua had Wee College grad last night - year two.  Why, oh WHY do the organizers think that it's a good idea to *start* these events at 7 p.m. and run them till 9:00 (including a luncheon filled with sugar-high-inducing goodies), when many 4-6 year olds actually go to bed at, umm, 7:30?  What a recipe for exhausted children.  Meaghan was d-o-n-e by the time we got home.  Joshua was yawning on stage during his songs, and he wasn't the only glassy-eyed kid up there.  Dustin was melting into heaps all over the place, but the promise of a snack after the 1 hour and 15 minute program kept his whining at bay...

Anyway...

...the house is a mess.
...Graeme & Dustin have a playdate today with Tim & Hudson.
...Graeme has a new hobby, courtesy of Tim - flying model airplanes!
...I need to bake bread today.
...I need to work out again today.
...I hope the sun shines today so maybe I can go OUTSIDE for a run again!

Oh hey... as a tidbit... I ran 9.25 km the other evening.  And, I loved it. It was slow, but I did it.  I want to up that to 10K as soon as possible (I just ran out of time - we had company coming and I had 7 minutes to shower!) and then improve my time.  My inspiration?  You'll never guess...

Time to start my day.  Back to real life!  (I was online early to try and secure swimming spots for my boys.  The county opens up swimming registration online at a certain time of day, and if you're not *right there*, you can't get onto the site as they only allow a certain number of users at a time.  I wasn't fortunate enough to get on right away, so I sat and waited, and tried again, and waited some more... but was still fortunate enough to secure the spots I wanted for them!)

Have a blessed day.  I am praying for you!

I am...

.... playing with my Garmin and hoping to learn more about it today.
.... creating food logs and charts to track what I'm putting in my mouth.
.... waiting for Graeme & Dustin to come home for lunch.
.... toying with the idea of training for a marathon, goal date August 21st.
.... exceptionally tired today, but WILL fit in a workout at some point!
.... meeting my exercise & nutrition goals, and am thankful for few cravings.
.... thankful for God's goodness... for His healing on hurting hearts...
.... thankful for good friends, both near and far.

:)

I have a Garmin.

I saved some Christmas money, and sold about 20 things on E-bay, and I am now the proud owner of a Garmin Forerunner 305.  It's a watch-like GPS system with heart rate monitor.  Biking, walking, running, exercising...  I found it at MEC for $80 cheaper than anywhere else in town, and e-bay was selling them for more than I paid for it; most places in the States wouldn't even ship it to Canada.  I feel like I got a great deal!

I am so excited!!  The 3-hour wait for the initial charge is killing me!!  :)

*happy dance*

Long story short:

My massive efforts paid off, and I'm down 5 lbs this week.

I'm out of a certain *decade* that I've been hanging around in for far too long... goodbye, and good riddance!!  Don't EVER come back!

*happy happy happy happy*

Today's workout

...was a complete waste of time and effort.

I dropped Dustin off at his Kids Klub, and walked across the complex to the pool, planning on partaking in my first "adult fitness swim" class.  The idea is that you'd show up, there would be an instructor, and it's kind of a 'free swim' with some extra workout moves incorporated... the instructor would let you have at it (s/he would write the workout progression on a whiteboard), and every so often the instructor would stop you at the end of your lane to tell you how you could improve your stroke, etc.

First off, I can't see the dumb board.  So I had my glasses by poolside, ready to remove my goggles when necessary so I could put my glasses back on and see the board.

Secondly, there were about 12 of us sharing 5 lanes.

Thirdly, I was so squished to the wall for fear of getting whacked by the other person sharing my lane, that I couldn't relax in my stroke rhythm.

Fourthly, I couldn't understand the short-hand of what was written on the board.  All these abbreviations...?  Huh??

And last but certainly not least... the instructor didn't show up.  She got some lifeguard to write the workout on the board, but it became obvious after half an hour that the instructor was not going to show.

I was only able to get in about 700m in that half-hour - I can usually do much better than that.

It was frustrating, tense, and, well, let's just say that I guess I'm going to have a date with Bob & Jillian later today.

I hurt.

....but, in the words of a sweet little boy of one of the sweetest mommas I know,

"i happy."

The other night, I did a couple of workout DVD's - Biggest Loser's CardioMax DVD and PowerSculpt DVD, level one on both.  I definitely felt it.  Even moreso the next day... and then last night I figured I'd hop on the ellptical for some quality cardio for 45 minutes.  It felt good while I was doing it, but yup, I hurt afterwards.  A 'good' hurt, though.

And I'd promised a lady from church I'd go to a step aerobics class with her this morning.  Graeme is home in the a.m. these days, so I took the opportunity and went out.  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  That was intense.  Really, incredibly, extremely good... but intense.  I could hardly move afterwards.

I'm not sure how I'm going to move tomorrow morning, after laying in bed (hopefully) all night.  I'm sure the stiffness will set in handily.

I am determined to overcome this.  Determined, ladies!!!!!

New Year's 2010 *Not Resolutions*

I have big hopes for 2010.

I'd love to keep an accurate fitness log... and maybe even an accurate nutrition log.  The latter is SO time-consuming, but I find I stay on track much better if I put in the time to log everything I put in my mouth.  Fitness goal:  4x per week, 30 minutes per session.  Weight loss would be the hoped-for result (my body is in rebellion and loses it s-l-o-w-l-y... so I'll aim for 3-4 lbs per month, hopefully reaching my goal by next Christmas).  I'll take better overall fitness, though.  I can be a 'fit-overweight' person, right?  I'm also going to be more relaxed about the type and formality of exercise... I was out running up hills with Dustin the other day when we were tobogganing.  It counts.  I skated today with Dustin & Joshua.  It was slow skating, but an hour of it counted.

Start meal-planning again.  I loved doing "The Big Cook" - having oven-ready meals in my freezer; pop 'em out of the ziploc bag and into a casserole dish or the crock-pot and forget about 'em for a few hours.  However, my kids only like about, umm, 1/4 of the meals I've ever made from that particular cookbook.  I'm going to revert to my old ways:  buy meat on sale, and prepare meals from that.  I want to be more intentional about introducing healthy things to my family - it fails every year as my husband decides he doesn't really *like* this or that, and then of course the kids pick up on that and start fighting around the table.

Be intentional about a daily schedule.  Be intentional about making sure I've got some reading time in there, some cleaning time (kids involved), allotting time for the kids to help me make dinner.  Playtime, skating time, family outings...  and earlier bedtimes for me.  Rearranging my day so that I can function better in the evenings.

I've already changed the kids' quiet time routines.  As of January 2nd, the boys still nap daily.  But it was starting to cause night-time problems.  So, a day or two later, I started transitioning them to 'not napping'.  A friend of mine suggested that I put on a CD during the day for them (Jungle Jam is causing problems at night), and that when the CD is over, they know that quiet time is over.  It guarantees me one hour of solitude.  They love their stories.  However, Dustin still falls asleep.  Poor li'l hunny is so tired.  But, I don't let him sleep too long, and they both go to bed so much nicer for me at night.

Be intentional about computer time.  I don't spent *tons* of time on here (well, maybe half a ton)... but it's so scattered through the day.  I'd like to at least be down here in concentrated snippets.

Be more intentional about bedtime blessings for the kids... we've also started this.

But most of all, I want to become closer to my Creator.  I want to know Him.  I want to sense His presence in everything I do.  I want submit to His Spirit when I am tempted to yell at my kids.  I want to be steadfast and strong in the power of His might.  I want my kids to want Jesus because of what they see in me.

I want 2010 to be a year of change, stability, and Jesus in our home.

My new blades

It's been about 7 years since I've skated.  The time before that was about 5 years.

But Joshua had a skating party today with his kindergarten class and the other 3 kindergarten classes.  I did not want to be the one parent walking on the ice while Joshua skated around...

That kid can skate.  Not as well as the hockey-kids can skate, but he's fairly respectable on his skates.  Better than I was when I was 5.  Then again, I had little strap-on bob skates.  He has real skates.

So I wanted to actually join him on the ice.

I went to the used sporting-goods store in Edmonton, pored over their 50-odd pairs of size 8 ladies skates, but could not find anything that even remotely fit.  Why do they make ladies' skates SO narrow?

I also discovered that my feet have changed during this last pregnancy.  They used to be the same size.  So not only are they wider than my already-too-wide feet used to be, but my left foot is now half a size bigger than my right foot.  

Over to the men's skates.  I don't need picks anyway.  Still nothing.  Most were too narrow... but worse than that, the boots were SO stiff and most were molded to the original users' feet.  Just plain uncomfortable.

I did not want to pay full price for a pair of skates.  I didn't think I would have to buy 'new'.

But my duck-feet dictated otherwise.

Finally I asked the guy (who was SO patient and helpful!) to let me try a pair of the new skates (in a box!).  And... oh my word... they fit.  The boot was a little flexible in the foot area, and somewhat padded; not this hard plastic thing that serious hockey players' boots are made out of.

So I bought them on Tuesday with the intention of getting to the rink with Joshua in the days before his party so that I could do some skating and not look like a fool.

Didn't happen.

So today, I hopped on the ice, feet afraid, pride even more afraid, as I didn't want to fall in front of AL these people!!  It had been so long!  The first few strokes were tentative... but then they got more stable, more confident.

I was skating!!!

I spent the first 40 minutes playing tag, skating backwards & forwards, stopping & starting... but not falling.  I was pretty proud of myself.  I actually was skating very nicely alongside people who actually looked like they knew what they were doing.

And then my world came crashing down.
I went to tag one of J's buddies... a skate-by tagging, if you will... and then he moved.  Right.in.front.of.me.

And I had zero reaction time.  I plowed into this poor 40-pound kid, and we both went down.  It was pretty spectacular.  But as we were falling, I had the instinct of turning both of us so that he would fall on top of me.  He was not hurt.

I was not so lucky.

The bruise on my hip & elbow will be quite impressive.

Joshua and I had tons of fun today.

But I got out tonight again... and brought my new blades with me.  My trusty boots and I did 30 laps around the near-empty rink.  It was fun... exhilarating... brought me back to my high school days when I did laps in gym class 'for fun'.  The breeze on my face, the power on the ice... I didn't fall... and 30 laps later, they wanted to close up for the night.  I hopped off the ice, and then realized just how good of a workout that was.  Within a minute of stopping, the sweat started pouring.  And I felt amazing.

I'm looking forward to many skating dates with my new blades.
And maybe Graeme will be able to join me once in a while.

Headache update

I realize I haven't really posted anything about my nasty headaches lately...

...but it's because the 6+ week headache has mostly subsided.  It rears up when I don't get at least 6 hours of sleep, but for the most part, yeah, I'm headache free!  I can function SO much better now....  a combination of thyroid (I'm losing SO much less hair now!), omega 3's, and B6's knocked this one out.  It took about a week before I started wondering and realizing that "hey, I haven't had any pain in about 2 hours!"

So yes, I'm praising God!  I've actually had some completely headache-free days.  Thank you to each of you who offered advice & research to me, as well as prayed.  I've got a long way to go with a lot of the other physical issues that are starting to creep in on me, but at least I can function now!!

The exercise thing hasn't gone so well, unfortunately.  I do really well for a few days, then am completely sidelined for one reason or another.  Something popped in my knee a few weeks back, sidelining me for a week or so, and then it was basically OK.  I was careful!  Then the other night as we were hosting small group and I was bringing snacks downstairs, the pain just shot through my knee again in the middle of the staircase!  I didn't even step funny - it was just so sudden, out of the blue, and unexplainable.  So now I'm icing, resting, being careful, sitting funny, etc., in efforts to get this thing healed again.  This pretty much makes anything Shred-related nearly impossible.  Any bending can be excruciating, depending on the mood of the knee at the time.  So frustrating!

We have three sickies in the house - Dustin, Meaghan, and I all have colds.  Dustin has had it the worst - the poor kid gets his coughing the worst at night - the other night was a 2-hour coughing fit, and an hour the next night... he is slowly getting better, thankfully.  Me?  I'm just tired.

Christmas is just around the corner...  I'm trying to drink it in this season.

Biggest Loser Updates

Now that I've actually posted the "Biggest Loser" official post that I figured I'd already posted a couple months back, I can continue with this week's update. If you haven't read the background, read the previous post before this one.

This was last week's post on our Losing it Together blog, with some pertinent 'number' information missing:

Seriously, I am ready to beat my head on a wall or something. I did some fantastic workouts this week, ate like a good girl (1300-1500 calories, since I'm nursing), and I'm UP a pound. Back to ###.

This, just yet another indication that my body has returned to the hormonal mess that it was after the birth of my second child. There's a long physiological story there, but basically my hormones tanked after Dustin was born... causing a WHOLE host of physical issues, including - dum da da dum - weight gain. I gained about 20 or 30 pounds AFTER I had Dustin. How crazy is that?

Over the last few weeks, I've been seeing many of the same dumb issues returning. Headaches have been running uncontrolled, weight has not been moving despite some decent efforts, painful periods, fatigue more than when I had a newborn and two preschoolers... it's not a happy place and I'm frustrated and scared. There has been other significant stress added to that mix, which I've alluded to before in this blog, and can now actually write about publically - you can read about it here.

So.... there you have it.

Anyway - yes - I would love to continue the weekly weigh-in and accountability. As Marion suggests, it could be a good thing for those of us who will still need accountability and support for those of us who haven't yet reached our goals by the beginning of January!

And this week's post:

OK, so last week I asked if I *can* cry.

This week, I am, and the kleenex box is getting emptier by the minute.

I am so frustrated... I've been *good* all week, even exercised a few times... did a few shreds, went for a 20km bike ride, drank lots of water, watched my portions, calories, types of foods... I was a good girl.

And I'm up another pound. Hello again, ###. You're like an annoying ex-friend that won't leave my doorstep.

I can't stand this, and am wondering why I'm even trying. Having the scale go the complete wrong direction is completely UNmotivating. How can I hang in there if even my best efforts are being punished?

Ugh. UGH!

Anyway... yeah. Thanks for listening and loving me anyway.

Losing it Together

I was looking through my files, and found a 'draft' post about this Biggest Loser challenge I am in, and I was SURE I'd posted this!! So, for any references you might've read about my participation in the Biggest Loser Challenge, here is the post that should've backed that up, sometime around the beginning of October:

It's time.

It's past time.

Here are some snippets of what I posted on our private blog (available only to members who are in the challenge!):

It means accountability.

It means exposing my bad habits.

It means taking responsibility... no more blaming the kids, or our very recent move, or...the list could go on.

I found a plethora of excuses to *not* do this...

We just moved and my basement is a mess and I have NO workout area, and getting out to the gym is not easy with a wee nursing baby and a husband who is not always able to enable me to get out. And I can't lose weight quickly if I'm nursing a baby...

But Kelly & Jen found a way *out* of those excuses. :)

So here I am. A week later than everyone else, but still here.

So the BMI calculator puts me at "obese". OUCH. I hope to lose an average of 1% per week... even at that, I'll still be considered 'overweight', at 5'5".

My quick story: I have 3 children. They're my motivation for losing weight. So is my self-image. And my wardrobe. I hate shopping for clothes.

After my 2nd son was born, my body rebelled and medical testing showed that all my hormones had taken a complete nose-dive, which was wreaking havoc on my body. Between the hormone dive causing weight gain, and the depression that resulted from the dive & weight gain, and the eating as a result of the depression... well, yeah. You get the picture.

I started some treatment for the hormone thing, but not before I gained about 30 lbs. :(

When we were surprised to find ourselves expecting our third child, Meaghan, I knew that I wasn't where I *wanted* to be, healthwise. So, I intentionally kept active; took up swimming, worked out a lot, and only gained about 10 lbs overall with her.

Lost it all, and then some... and I felt great! Better than I've felt in years!!

...and then we moved. And I eat when I'm stressed out... the move was good, and we're very happy here, but I find it's easy to lose track of what I'm eating if I'm busy. And I haven't been working out consistently since we've been busy with the move as well as my *stuff* all being in storage right now.

And I gained it back again.

I'm DONE. D-O-N-E!!!

Thank you for letting me be a part of this journey.

I can't wait to be more motivated and accountable... and healthier & lighter!!

Ouch.

So I was getting off my office chair to kneel down on the floor to play with Meaghan...

...and my knee popped. Just popped. At the bottom of my kneecap. I didn't even twist it.

It's my good knee, too - my left knee has a torn meniscus requiring surgery, but my right knee has been just fine, until now.

Now instead of working out in my basement, I'm stuck sitting here with an ice pack strapped to my knee. Instead of cleaning the house (I made cinnamon twists today and there is a grand mess in my kitchen) I will be sitting and watching TV. It hurts to walk, do stairs... "hurts" might be a bit of an understatement. Excruciating might be more like it.

This could really throw a kink in my exercise plans and my Biggest Loser plans. It's horribly disappointing and frustrating. Hopefully it's just a short wonky thing, but my instincts tell me that this is going to be a long-haul injury. Erg.

If anyone has the gift of healing, now would be the time to exercise it (ha ha - very punny!)...