138 Truths

1. Last beverage → water. About 2 minutes ago.
2. Last phone call → Graeme, hopefully saying he was on his way home (I missed the call and haven't checked the message yet - I'm on dial-up, remember?
3. Last instant message → I don't do IM.
4. Last song you listened to → A Lullaby I made up and sang for Dustin while I rubbed his back tonight at bedtime.
5. Last time you cried → Yesterday or the day before. It's all a blur.
6. Last text message → I don't text.

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Dated someone twice → No.
2. Been cheated on → No.
3. Kissed someone & regretted it → No. Graeme is my one and only!
4. Lost someone special → Yes.
5. Been depressed → Yes.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
1. Blue
2. Purple
3. Red

THIS MONTH HAVE YOU:
1. Made a new friend → Yes.
2. Fallen out of love → No.
3. Laughed until you cried → Yup!
4. Met someone who changed your life → No
5. Found out who your true friends were → Yes.
6. Found out someone was talking about you → Sure.
7. Have you kissed anyone on your FB friend's list → Yes - Graeme!
8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → All.
9. How many kids do you want to have → I'm not telling, na na na na na na!
10. Do you have any pets → A few hundred frogs, a few thousand ants, a few bats, a friendly squirrel who killed a couple of our trees, and a deer that we've never seen but have evidence of its existence.
11. Do you want to change your name → I used to. I'm happy now.
12. What did you get for your last birthday → An elliptical. A group gift from the fam. And a mother & child statuette from my mom.
13. What time did you wake up today → 7:00 a.m.
14. What were you doing at midnight last night → Falling into bed.
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for → The day when Graeme and I can leave the boys at home alone and go for a long walk together.
16. Last time you saw your father → Hmm... almost 4 years ago. A few months after Joshua was born.
17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → Not a whole lot right now - I'd lose some of 'me', for sure!
18. What are you listening to right now → The hum of my computer. It's blissfully quiet in here right now!
19. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Actually, not that I can remember!
23. Who's getting on your nerves right now → Nobody, surprisingly.
24. Most visited webpage → facebook.com, a fitness website, and a few blogs.

Whats your real name - Melissa Lynn.
002. Nicknames → Mel
003. Status → Alive & kickin'
004. Zodiac sign → Pisces
005. Male or female → Female.
006. Elementary → Vilna School
007. Middle School → Vilna School
008. Highschool → Vilna School
009. University → Prairie Bible Institute
010. Hair colour → Brown.
011. Long or short - I got it chopped a couple weeks ago!
015. Are you a health freak → I'm workin' on it!
016. Height → 5'5"
017. Do you have a crush on someone → Aside from Graeme?
018: What do you like about yourself → A few things - I like more where I'm headed, though!
021. Righty or lefty → righty.

FIRSTS :
022. First surgery → Tonsils... no, gallbladder... no, wisdom teeth... umm... I can't remember!
023. First piercing → Ears
024. First best friend → Erin
025. First award → some sort of 'female athlete of the year' in elementary. Took that 10 out of 12 years through school. Those were the days!!
026. First sport you joined → What didn't I join?
027. First pet → a dog.
028. First vacation --> I can't remember that far back!!
029. First concert → Something at Prairie.
030. First crush → As if I'm gonna share that one...

CURRENTLY :
049. Eating → Just finished an apple.
050. Drinking → Water.
052. I'm about to → Finish a report I'm working on.
053. Listening to → STILL the hum of my computer!
055. Waiting for → Graeme to get home.

YOUR FUTURE :
058. Want kids → I already have 2! More? Maybe - if God wills it...
059. Want to get married → Already am, for over 9 years!!
060. Careers in mind → I'm liking being a mama...

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :
068. Lips or eyes → Eyes. Lips a close second. But I don't relaly pay attention anymore - I've got Graeme!
069. Hugs or kisses → I could never give up hugs.
070. Shorter or taller → Doesn't really matter.
071. Older or Younger→ Umm...??
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Spontaneously romantic.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → ??
074. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive. I don't like brutes.
075. Hook-up or relationship → We got hooked up. It was wonderful.
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → Neither.

HAVE YOU EVER :
078. Kissed a stranger → Good grief, NO!
079. Drank pepsi → Yes.
080. Lost glasses/contacts → Yes. Lost a contact at camp one year. Not a good day.
081. Ran away from home → No.
084. Broken someone's heart → Ha ha - if I really think about it, yes! It totally was NOT mutual, though - kinda funny/embarrassing - he was a bit of a leech and a stalker. Eww.
085. Been arrested → Nope.
086. Turned someone down → Yes.
087. Cried when someone died → Yes.
088. Liked a guy friend? Yes. Married him, too.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → Sometimes.
090. Miracles → Yes.
091. Love at first sight → I'm not sure.
092. Heaven → Yes.
093. Santa Claus → No, but it's fun playing at it with my boys.
095. Kiss on the first date → Nope.
096. Angels → Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Yes.
098. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time → No!
099. Do you believe in God → Yes.
100. Posting this as 100 Truths → No. It's more like 139 or so. Some people can't compute, apparently, when they write these things.

Fort Edmonton Park

We had a fun little family day on Monday - decided to take in the Fort Edmonton Park opening weekend. That was a little interesting, let me tell you! We got there shortly after it opened, and we still had a 1-hour wait in line. The boys did so well, though - have food, will be happy. They played with other kids in the line, played on trees, and were overall very well-behaved.










We finally got on the train to go to the Fort (the first part of the Park) just before noon. As soon as we unloaded, of course it was time for lunch. So we ate. :)













Normally, the boys nap around 1:00-1:30, till around 4:00-4:30. However, we decided we'd try and stretch them a bit... and stretch them we did. We stayed there until 4:00!! They didn't have their usual over-tired meltdowns, though, thankfully - but Dustin was asleep in the van before we even got out of the parking lot!











Feeding a horsie - I'm not sure if we were supposed to do that, but the horse didn't seem to mind!











Hangin' out while waiting for Daddy to bring ice cream:














YUM!!












Me? Messy? YAH!

At the free Penny Carnival:







































Note how there is no actual evidence that I was even there... I guess we can chalk this up to another 'hat' mamas wear - photographer!

Hair today, gone tomorrow!

Well, after several months of serious consideration, I finally did it... chopped it all off, baby... well, not quite all of it... But this is definitely the shortest my hair has ever been in my entire life, aside from my infancy when my hair was still trying to grow out (Mom, you can correct me if I'm wrong).

I've saved my hair to send to Locks of Love. There was enough of it - just over 12 inches, as you can compare in the picture with the 8 1/2 x 11 inch sheet of paper beside it - and I can send it in so they can make it part of a wig for a child who has lost all of their hair from cancer/chemo, etc.

Even better...

I'm *almost* starting to enjoy shopping.

It helps when you can walk into one of your favorite stores, and find things that are already slashed up to 50 % off. But what makes it even better is when the items on the sales racks are additionally marked down to 'buy one, get one free'!

I've needed a bit of an overhaul - not much, but just some nicer things to go out of the house in, when I'm doing more than getting groceries or whatever. Jeans that actually fit. A few decent shirts that aren't every-day t-shirts.

I walked out of the store (over 2-3 trips, with Graeme's blessing, no less!) with:

Three pairs of jeans
One pair of dress pants
Four dressy shirts
Two camisoles
Two headbands
One pair of earrings
One necklace

Regular price: Well over $500.

I paid well under $200. This is still a lot of money for a girl who likes to keep it simple... I mean, how many women are lucky enough to have their husbands encourage them to go pick out a few new things? I'm lucky... I'm glad I don't have to go swimsuit shopping, though - but if I did, I sure wouldn't take my husband with me!! (*grin*, Paige!)

A good start to my day!

The sun is shining.

I am cleaning my office.

The boys are at Gramma & Grampa's house (although that isn't part of what makes it a good day - I miss the boys, but I am able to accomplish a few things that I normally couldn't do).

I've got a to-do list about 12 items long, and while I'm not going to get it all done in the next 4 hours, I'm sure gonna try - and be happy for my successes and not dwelling on my 'failures'.

The birdies are singing right outside my window.

I am going on a mini-road trip to see a friend this afternoon!!

On another note, one of my little indulgences is watching Survivor. This season has been particularly interesting because of people not playing their hidden immunity idols at the appropriate time, and have gotten blindsided at tribal council and gotten voted out. You think people would learn... anyway, Erik, starry-eyed Survivor-fan that he is, wove himself a tangled web by trying to make different alliances with 3 of the 4 remaining survivors. The women started gabbing and realized the error of Erik's ways, and called him on it. They then concocted a plan whereby one of the women would approach Erik (who had won immunity that day) and try to persuade him to give up the immunity necklace to 'prove' that he was sorry for his bad strategy, etc, and to try and get the 'good vibes' back. Then the girls would vote Erik out, since he no longer had immunity. Well, much to everyone's absolute surprise, he did it!! Wow. Erik got voted out for sure. In the loosely paraphrased words of James, "I am no longer the dumbest survivor ever!" Ha ha - gotta love it. I still can't believe the ice-cream scooper did it.

Okies, well - I must run. May your day be filled with joy and peace that passes our earthly understanding!!

Win a baby carrier!

I stumbled upon this contest from a friend-of-a-friend's blog, and thought I'd share it with you - you can win a free baby carrier called an Ergo - one of the best on the market in this type of carrier. If you want to enter, you can, but seriously... I'm on such a streak I'll probably win anyway! *grin*

Click here to enter!

Good luck - you'll need it! :)

Winnings

I've apparently got a little luck on my side these days - on Thursday I was erranding, and heard a little ditty on the radio saying that Dr. Kevin Leman was coming to Edmonton and that in the next 15 minutes they'd be giving away two tickets to see him that Saturday (this past one). Five minutes later, all you had to do was call in (no trick questions or pop quizzes) to win them, and I WON!! Dr. Leman is a Christian family & child psychologist who has been featured many times on Focus on the Family, and has also been on various TV talk shows because of his radical & down-to-earth approaches in dealing with children & family issues.

Anyway, the tickets were valued at $140 for the pair!! It was a good seminar - I learned a few things, but also had a load of things confirmed for me as well in changes I'm making and things I've done in the past with the kids. Whew! :)

And... I got a haircut. Had to pay for that one, though - didn't 'win' that! :) It's a *little* different from anything I've ever done before - take a peek at my facebook page if you want to see a picture! :) Poor Dustin wasn't sure about the whole thing, but he likes that I can shake my head and tickle him with my short hair now. What a cutie!

Must run - I have cookies to deliver to a friend! Be blessed in your new day!

Further thoughts

Never before have I been in a hard situation and received confirmation after confirmation. Who'd have ever thought some of my confirmation would come through a Bible study from a lady by the name of Beth Moore? I think she's something like the top one or two ladies' Bible study authors - Joyce Meyer is the other.

I digress.

Here are a couple of things I read tonight:

One thing we must be warned to avoid at all costs is judging another person's heart. That job is for God and God alone. Judging another's heart, however, is not the same as discerning that something doesn't seem quite right and considering how we might wisely avoid opening ourselves to an intimate or close relationship in the situation.

One thing that I always try to do is to make sure my motives for radical action are right. For example, when we left our last church, I had to make sure that our reasons were because *God* was calling us to move forward, and not because *we* were fed up with various things or people. I try to apply the same to my relationships. Of course, it's never easy to hear someone tell you that they're uncomfortable with something - but there is a difference between judging the heart, and saying that I need to make a change because things haven't worked out despite best efforts. It's always going to come across as a judgment to the person concerned, but I can assure you, to the very best of my ability, this is never my method of operation.

I'm sure all of us have had rocky starts or finishes to well-intended relationships/friendships. Sometimes those rocky starts or finishes make us a *little* hesitant to try again, or hope to trust again. These words jumped off the page to me:

We cannot allow the enemy (Satan) to intimidate us into avoiding relationships. We just want to make sure we develop healthy, God-appointed, and balanced ones. We get started by becoming the kind of person we want to find.

Hmmm.... good food for thought.

She goes on to describe what an unhealthy relationship looks like, and what a good relationship looks like. An unhealthy relationship can have all kinds of ropes and webs of entanglement, and the more you try to fix it, the stickier the web you weave. It's messy.

A healthy relationship can look like this (this would be specific to Christian friendships) - that between you and I, we have the cross of Christ. It's simple. Imagine us as stickmen. Now imagine that the horizontal line of the cross keeps us connected, but the vertical line respects God-given boundaries drawn between the two. Perfectly connected, but perfectly individual.

Here is where I'll begin quoting:

Finally, let's address an obvious question. What if we're willing to respect clean lines in our relationships, but others in the relationship are not? Then they can tangle with the cross! (Emphasis mine.)

(Imagine that there are now two stickmen with a cross between them, but then the 'unwilling party's' web tangled with the cross rather than with you.)

We can't change anyone else. For crying out loud, we can't even change ourselves! But we can allow God to change us. Our responsibility is to allow God to make each of us healthy, whole connectors and to have the courage to put some distance between any relationship that is a seduction (there are many senses of the word, not just the seduction that immediately pops into your head!) waiting to happen.

You and I need to obey God. When we do, the consequences of our obedience become God's problem and not ours. Others threatened by the change may think they are tangling with us, but as we determine to allow God to manage our relationships, we leave Christ to tangle with them instead of us. And guess what, Beloved? He can handle them.

I am so thankful...

We are encouraged in Hebrews 12:1-2 to "strip off and throw aside every encumbrance and sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with patience the race set before us, looking to Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our Faith..."

**I realize this is really a huge bent on Christian friendships, but may I add that I have a variety of non-Christian friends who bless my life in equally wonderful and fun ways! I am so thankful for you and the balance & joy you bring to our lives!

I am loved.

I am blessed.

God is good.

Confirmation & a funny quote

I'm currently reading a book called "Taking Care of the Me in Mommy", by Lisa Whelchel - a book written for moms who "run on empty and end up not being the moms we so desperately want to be." It's a Christian book, but sooo many of the principals can be applied to those who don't profess a faith.

Here's something I came across tonight as I was reading:

Be intentionally aware of everything you allow to enter through your eyes, ears, and heart. What are you watching on television and movies? What are you reading? What kind of music are you listening to? Are
you surrounded by friends that fill you up or tear you down? It isn't just about you. What you allow inside your heart and mind is what will inevitably be poured out on your family. What you receive is, most likely, what you will give.

This was a good confirmation for me - along with certain Scripture passages - to take a look at what's going on with my life, and deal with the things that are pouring negativity into myself and my family.

The other quote I wanted to share with you is this (as she talked about hunger):

By the way, it is my personal opinion that if carbohydrates were so evil, then Jesus would not refer to Himself as the Bread of Life.

:)

An Overhaul

Brave
(Nichole Nordeman)

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love,
that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...

Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I'm gone

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

©2005 Birdwing Music/Birdboy Music (ASCAP)/Sony/ATV Songs LLC/Joy Jayce (BMI)

To me, this song speaks volumes about not being willing to settle for mediocrity, and fighting for something better in my life. Do I want more? Yes! Which means that I have to make choices (alongside my husband) that others just may not understand or support. Sometimes I have to 'out' the things that cause me to stumble. Sometimes I have to choose to turn away from the things or people who deliberately provoke me or hurt me (the operative word being *deliberate*, as you can never fully avoid hurts and offenses). Sometimes I have to choose a different path for myself... for my health, my family, my boys, my marriage.

And I'm excited about the path I'm on. I'm not on a rampage to change my entire life to become unrecognizable - I'm just "fine-tuning" it, I suppose. Deepening friendships and developing new ones. Spending time on worthwhile projects. Spending more energies on my marriage. Pouring myself into the things that God wants me to do and no longer bowing to the expectations of people who don't really care about me personally anyway. Humbling myself to further growth.

Perfection won't manifest itself until Heaven. But, with the support of family and good friends, we can all make a positive impact on each others' lives - however big or small that impact may be.

Be blessed and encouraged - if there is an area of your life that you feel is dragging you down, and if you've made honest-to-goodness proper efforts to reverse that trend - consider that if it doesn't improve then maybe it's time to move on in that area. You can do this!! None of us should settle for status quo, but always be striving toward something better.

Must run - time to think about the next snack! Have a fabulous day!

Developments of the stressful dimension

Ever wonder what it would be like to be perfect? Ever wonder what it would be like to be able to rationalize (and expect others to believe and pat them on the back for) the reasons for their behaviour? Hmmm...

I'll be the first to admit I'm not perfect. I'll be the first to admit I've said things recently to hurt people - things that I regret. I'll be the first to admit that I need some shaping up. Truly, I do. And I'm working on it - with the help of some good Godly counsel and some honest-to-goodness friends, I am slowly moving towards that end.

I spent much of my early life living with someone who thought he was perfect... who could never do any wrong... who could rationalize every nasty act and bad word as simply 'out of stress' or whatever, without ever taking any responsibility for it.

There's a part of me that wants to hope beyond hope that every damaged relationship can be repaired. But then there's that part of me that has tried and tried again - sometimes for years, in certain cases - and has gotten the slap across the face in the form of deliberate provoking. But how long do you expose yourself to that before you understand that there's something better for you out there?

Is it too much to ask of 'friends' that they don't provoke you? Goodness, it shouldn't even be something to *have* to ask - it's simply understood. I have many friends who don't necessarily believe the same things that I do, but neither side would ever dream of deliberately hurting the other. I like that 'safe place'.

But does there come a time when you simply throw in the towel and decide that you've had enough of the toxicity? It's not about avoiding conflict - most good relationships have had (and subsequently reconciled) conflict. And I've definitely travelled that road, too. But what about when there is no resolution? Would one expect to just sweep it under the carpet and pretend it doesn't exist? Or would one eventually decide "enough is enough" - and that you can't invest any more emotional effort into something that is one-way, draining, and eventually false? Remember, I'm not talking about a week or so - I'm talking about an extended period of time when one party feels like they've done what they can, and it's just tossed back in their face as if they've done nothing to try and salvage the relationship.

Undoubtedly, a breakup such as this can only be hard and cause all sorts of emotions to rise, many negative, causing you to wonder if there ever was anything good in there? And unfortunately there are often 'associated' people with whom the common link is cut - what about those people?

I'm not asking for perfection, but rather mutual understanding and respect and encouragement. I don't want to settle for superficial relationships on which there is no common ground just for the sake of...what?

I want friends who are true to themselves. I want friends with whom I have a safe place - to laugh, to cry, to rejoice, to grieve, or to just 'be'. I want to know that my friends will lovingly call me out on something they see that is not consistent with the character I am trying to develop. I want them to challenge me when the need arises. I want friends with whom, even though I haven't seen them in a year, I can still pick up a conversation and feel like we just talked yesterday.

I have that now. I really have that now. Bring it on! :)

Blessings!
M.