I digress.
Here are a couple of things I read tonight:
One thing we must be warned to avoid at all costs is judging another person's heart. That job is for God and God alone. Judging another's heart, however, is not the same as discerning that something doesn't seem quite right and considering how we might wisely avoid opening ourselves to an intimate or close relationship in the situation.
One thing that I always try to do is to make sure my motives for radical action are right. For example, when we left our last church, I had to make sure that our reasons were because *God* was calling us to move forward, and not because *we* were fed up with various things or people. I try to apply the same to my relationships. Of course, it's never easy to hear someone tell you that they're uncomfortable with something - but there is a difference between judging the heart, and saying that I need to make a change because things haven't worked out despite best efforts. It's always going to come across as a judgment to the person concerned, but I can assure you, to the very best of my ability, this is never my method of operation.
I'm sure all of us have had rocky starts or finishes to well-intended relationships/friendships. Sometimes those rocky starts or finishes make us a *little* hesitant to try again, or hope to trust again. These words jumped off the page to me:
We cannot allow the enemy (Satan) to intimidate us into avoiding relationships. We just want to make sure we develop healthy, God-appointed, and balanced ones. We get started by becoming the kind of person we want to find.
Hmmm.... good food for thought.
She goes on to describe what an unhealthy relationship looks like, and what a good relationship looks like. An unhealthy relationship can have all kinds of ropes and webs of entanglement, and the more you try to fix it, the stickier the web you weave. It's messy.
A healthy relationship can look like this (this would be specific to Christian friendships) - that between you and I, we have the cross of Christ. It's simple. Imagine us as stickmen. Now imagine that the horizontal line of the cross keeps us connected, but the vertical line respects God-given boundaries drawn between the two. Perfectly connected, but perfectly individual.
Here is where I'll begin quoting:
Finally, let's address an obvious question. What if we're willing to respect clean lines in our relationships, but others in the relationship are not? Then they can tangle with the cross! (Emphasis mine.)
(Imagine that there are now two stickmen with a cross between them, but then the 'unwilling party's' web tangled with the cross rather than with you.)
We can't change anyone else. For crying out loud, we can't even change ourselves! But we can allow God to change us. Our responsibility is to allow God to make each of us healthy, whole connectors and to have the courage to put some distance between any relationship that is a seduction (there are many senses of the word, not just the seduction that immediately pops into your head!) waiting to happen.
You and I need to obey God. When we do, the consequences of our obedience become God's problem and not ours. Others threatened by the change may think they are tangling with us, but as we determine to allow God to manage our relationships, we leave Christ to tangle with them instead of us. And guess what, Beloved? He can handle them.
I am so thankful...
We are encouraged in Hebrews 12:1-2 to "strip off and throw aside every encumbrance and sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with patience the race set before us, looking to Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our Faith..."
**I realize this is really a huge bent on Christian friendships, but may I add that I have a variety of non-Christian friends who bless my life in equally wonderful and fun ways! I am so thankful for you and the balance & joy you bring to our lives!
I am loved.
I am blessed.
God is good.
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