Succumbing to the threats

'Nuff said?

I've been receiving e-mail threats, coercing me into taking a baby-belly picture and posting it, *or else*...

So I got Graeme to take one tonight, outside, so that y'all can see how Baby looks.

All went well at today's appointment - heart rate was 142, and I was *lucky enough* to have not just one, but two internal-type things today.  He was so busy talking while he was checking me (I could've told him that nothing was going on!) that he forgot to do the Group B Strep swab that they're supposed to do around 36 weeks.  I told him he'd better make this up to me!!  (He laughed.)

So anyway, yes.  No 'internal' changes that would signal Baby's soon arrival.  I would've been more surprised if there were any 'signs'...historically I need to have several hours of early labour before I even start to dilate.  These women who are 3 or 4 cm dilated a week before they go into labour?  HA!  Nope.  Not me.

All is well.  No weight gain again (breathing sigh of relief).  I got my walking papers today, and discovered with surprise that I haven't gained any weight (net) since my February 3rd appointment - sure, I've gone up and down, but the last 3 weeks have been the same as my Feb 3rd appt.  He is not concerned, as I also am not; I have enough of my own that I can afford to not gain anything.  I am eating healthy enough and exercising regularly, which is certainly contributing to keeping my weight in check, and I feel great overall (aside from significant back pain these days).  Now just watch, next week I'll be up 5 lbs or something horrendous like that...

I'm feeling blessed! - now back to work!

Couldn't help myself

I couldn't help it.

And I could no longer resist.

After days of washing, drying, folding, sorting, organizing, putting away, cleaning, purging, and doing 'essential' stuff, I finally broke down.

I started on my ring sling.

I've only ironed and hemmed in the long edges so far, and I've only spent about 45 minutes doing it, but I feel like I've just had some fun.  :)  (Not that the other stuff wasn't fun, but...this is different.)

36 weeks

Oomph.

Already 36 weeks.

Only 4 weeks to go.

28 days.

No matter how I slice it, I'm having a baby fairly quickly here... in some ways I feel like it's right around the corner, but in other ways, I feel like it's still a distance off.  I am, for once, hoping for later rather than sooner.

I was nauseous all night last night; not sure why.  It was a horrible sleep.  Graeme slept in the boys' room for a sleepover - they missed him terribly and were happy to have him home.  He probably slept better in their room than he would've in our bed.  

I felt much better this morning, though, so I did some weights while G was still home.  After a snack and some tidying up, I took the boys out for a walk.  Joshua walked/ran over a mile this time - and some longer spurts than last time.  My back didn't hurt nearly as bad, thankfully!  Dustin spent most of the walk cock-a-doodle-doo-ing at the rooster, barking at dogs, and cheering on Joshua.  D's little legs aren't ready for such a long run, apparently!  One day soon I'm sure he'll get jealous enough of Joshua that he'll want to run, too.  Joshua had a blast!

We made cranberry bread for the first time today...it turned out pretty good, for a first attempt!  Joshua is still napping, but Dustin is sitting at the table snacking on some bread and singing, "Jesus loves me, this I know, zippidy-doo-da!"

I sure love those kids!  It will be interesting to see how this new little one will add to the dynamics...

Is it really that bad?

Graeme was gone all weekend.

Although some areas of the house were transformed as per my to-do-before-baby list, other areas were neglected and needed some work.  I did a lot before church yesterday, knowing that the rest of my day would be quite consumed with other activity.

So I was cleaning up the front entry, complete with a floor-sweep.

Dustin comes up to me and asks, "Mommy, is someone coming over today?"

...as if I only clean the house when company is coming... 'tis true, sometimes...at least the 'frantic' cleaning...

I didn't think we were that bad!!

Productivity

I have trouble knowing where to start sometimes.  The mountains before me are kinda huge, so it took a while to figure out what to do first.

So I did the one thing any self-respecting mother would do - I closed all the doors and took a nap.

Just kidding.

I've been working in the baby's room again (it's closest to the boys' room, and it would be beneficial if I wasn't trying to work on it during naptime or nighttime).  Our crib had a recall on it a few months ago, and so we got a new bracket kit in the mail last week (finally!).  Today I set up the crib - kinda hard to attach the base with only one set of hands!  My back is definitely protesting as a result - oops!

I also got all the diapers ready...well, still working on the cloth ones, but I'm about 70% done the needed laundry for Baby.  

Knowing how exhausted we might be, and how nasty-messy newborn poop can be, we will probably use mostly disposables for the first couple of weeks, anyway.  Today I bought one small pkg of newborn size (they don't really make big pkgs), and one regular package of itty bitty size 1's.

I couldn't just simply put the packages on the shelf.

Nope, I had to OPEN the packages, take every single diaper out and stack them on the dresser (which is currently in the closet since the room is so small), marvel at how tiny they were, and even giggle a little bit. 

Are we really going to be blessed with another little miracle?  Like, really?  Is God really going to do this?

I can hardly believe it.

We're almost there.

30 days until the newest member of the poop brigade shows up.

Hoooooo boy....

We had a good sleep last night!  The boys slept in till  7:03 this morning, and then came and played beside my bed for about 20 minutes or so.

So, if we had such a good sleep, then why am I such a complete doofus today? 

Seriously... I don't even know if I should admit it...

I left the house with two different shoes on!!!  One was my running shoe, and the other was my short winter boot.  I was distracted between putting them on (the kids were doing/touching stuff they shouldn't have been), and, well, yeah.  You couldn't even fake it.  

Aside from that... it looks like I'm not the only doofus today.  People in stores were kind of absent-minded today as well.  It's like the gravitational pull of the moon went completely whacked or something today.  But thankfully the shoe problem was figured out before I went anywhere public - I'd only made it to Graeme's mom's house.  She then lent me a pair of Graeme's dad's boots so I could run my errands without having to go home again first.

I'm going to try and get some work done here now, in the silence of the house.  I'll have to turn on some music.  And toss in another load of baby stuff.  And get another batch of bread going.

*still shaking my head*...

Lost & Found

As my office gets fuller of *stuff* from kids, hubby, self, etc, I've been finding that things are missing. 

Like my cell phone.

It's been AWOL for about 2 weeks. 

In the haste of getting the house cleaned up for a gathering one night, Graeme had gathered ALL of my sewing stuff - machine, fabric, accessories, etc - and just kind of tossed them into a corner of my office.  Stuffed stuff into bags, piled it up, and closed the door.  (Side question - how do I get my family to stop doing this?  My office is NOT their depository for stuff they don't know what to do with...)

I finally got to that corner tonight.  I was kind of mumbling about how it bugs me when other people "put my stuff away", thinking they're helping...because then I can never find anything, and then it takes me longer to re-organize than if I'd been given an extra 5 minutes just to do it myself.

Well, I found my cell phone in one of the bags tonight.

Ironically, I hadn't even really missed it.  Our contract with Telus is up in about a week, for which we are thankful.  The reception with Telus out on our acreage and on a lot of our back roads is terrible, or non-existent.  We only live 3 miles from town, but the coverage from Telus is pathetic.  Graeme was able to switch to Roger's, and gets awesome reception out here/in the country, so we've been looking forward to me being able to switch, too.  Combine that with the fact that my battery has zero staying power any more, and yeah, I haven't missed my cell phone.

But I'm still glad to have it back, knowing that all the phone numbers and pictures stored therein are safe in my house.

Anyway, I'm going to bed.  Tomorrow's a new day with its own to-do list.  First, some sleep.

Now if only Dustin's sunglasses would turn up...

Tired today

I was just commenting to Graeme last night about how great I was feeling and how I felt like I'm just getting more energy as the pregnancy goes along and feeling more 'together'...

And today...?  Not so much.

I'm tired.  I hurt.  I've been constantly hungry for days but am trying not to eat more than I *should*, which is still more than I normally would!  The boys are at odds today and with me being grumpy from being tired and hungry, they're not responding well to correction.  So I guess it's one of *those* days.  It's discouraging.

I feel like it's going to be a long few days here.  Graeme is off with our small group tonight to serve at the Mustard Seed's soup kitchen (or whatever they call it).  Tomorrow he works early again, then is off straightaway to his mens' retreat, which he'll be gone to until Sunday night.  I'm going to need a little more spunk if I'm going to make it through with some energy and 'life'!

I'm going to throw the boys in the chariot and go for a nice long walk.  It's turned into a nice day out there; perhaps the fresh air will do us all some good over the course of the 2-mile walk!

Bad Mommy!

3:23 a.m. - Joshua is downstairs, crying, opening door to garage.  Sad that "Daddy left for work and I didn't get to wave to him!"

3:24 a.m. - convince Joshua to come and see that Daddy is still in bed.  Three minute visit, potty trip, and back to his own bed.

7:09 a.m. -  Internal alarm clock goes off.

7:10 a.m. - Fully dressed.  Headed downstairs to start snack for Bible Study - I'm on snack duty and I ran out of time/motivation/inspiration last night.

7:15 a.m. - Find a suitable brownie recipe that didn't require semisweet baking chocolate (I was out).  

7:30 a.m. - Boys come traipsing downstairs to find me making brownies.  I'm in a bit of a time crunch (have to be out of the house in an hour!), so I let them lick the beaters so that I can finish up before getting them their real breakfast.

8:10 a.m. - start a loaf of bread in the breadmaker.  I feel horrible for 'cheating', but we need bread and I don't have time to hand-make it.

8:15 a.m. - Brownies come out of the oven.  Sprinkle with shmallellows and pop back in the oven.  Get boys to brush teeth while I slice oranges and wash grapes, also for Bible study.  Pack J's snack for preschool (make-up day today).

8:30 a.m. - Boys are fed, dressed, pottied, and in the van.  Brownies are still super hot, but I take them out to the van anyway.

This is how I was a bad mama today... seriously.  Brownie beaters before breakfast?

They sure thought it was a great idea!  :)

Blast from the past

So I'm purging some stuff out of my office.

And I came across a binder from 6 years ago. 

It's a binder filled with pages of exercise regimes & meal plans that I'd designed for myself; a plan to stick to so that I could *finally* lose the weight I'd put on, and tone my once muscular body.

It was a good plan!  Really good!  I am actually impressed with all the work I put into this thing.  And I used it for a while... and it was effective for stick-tuitiveness (although I never lost any weight with it; I was at least in a good routine).

But then I'm not sure what happened.  A few months after my last entry, I would've found out I was pregnant with Joshua.  I was also working full time.

Anyway... the irony is this... I even took pictures.  The kind where ya wear just a sports bra and a pair of shorts.  At the time, I hate the pictures.  I thought they'd be good motivation.

But now, while they're still not the most flattering pictures in the world, they're still 30 lbs ago... I'd give almost anything to weigh *that* again. 

That 30 lbs represents 2 children (will represent 3 soon!), a lot of stress, several moves, and three years of hormonal imbalances.

I shredded the pictures.  It's a new era.  This pregnancy has given me a new lease on exercise - the swimming has been excellent, and I'm excited to see how the routine, motivation, and endurance will change me post-partum this time around.  I'm optimistic that my bounce-back will be better after this baby is born.  If not physically, then at least mentally.  I've never been so consistent in the last 6 years - maybe a couple months at a time; not enough to make it stick! - as I've been over the last 6 months total.  I have no intention of stopping.  I'll slow down after Baby comes, for a few weeks...but I want to keep at it. 

I don't really care about those 30 lbs as much any more.  I'd still love to wave good-bye to them forever, and that still may happen.  I care more about how God is teaching me self-discipline and persistence.  Something I've been lacking for a while in certain areas of my life; not just physically, either.

If those 30 lbs disappear, though, you'll be the first to know about it!  :)

Tuesday Tinkerings

My tinkering for today:

Laundry has been a huge success today.  After Graeme took J to preschool, Dustin and I changed ALL the beds and started laundry.  That kid loves to pull sheets off of beds, so I might as well put his skill to productive use!

Picked up a whole case of Kleenex from the pharmacy.  We're totally out, and it's nice to be able to get it at cost.  Much cheaper than buying even from Superstore!

Went to Fabricland to spend $2.50.  Ran into a friend who has two little girlies - cuties, they are!  I love running into friends in odd places.  Who'da thunk?  Dinner plans definitely need to get in the works there.

I went swimming last night... and again today.  Last night was a 1000m swim; felt great while in the water, not so hot afterwards.  But that was later at night.  Went back today for a 2000m swim; middle of the day and I had a lane ALL to myself for about 95% of it!  It was a good swim.  I took it easy since I'm still a little sick & stuffy, but I felt good in the pool.  And I need to monitor my breathing/heart rate so I don't overdo it.  

After my swim, I went to Sears to find some specific drapery rods that we saw online.  Yesterday the Sears in South Common sent me to Southgate.  So I went to Southgate.  They wanted to send me back to South Common.  *Grr*  So I ordered them from the website; hopefully these things are the right ones!!

Came home, tossed supper in the oven, started in on the office.

And here I sit.  Procrastinating.  I have two cupboard doors open.  And not much flying out of them!  :(

Time to go check dinner.

Monday Meanderings

Thirty-five weeks.  Meaning only 35 days to go.  EEK!  I am not yet ready to meet this little squiggly party animal!  I am still having trouble wrapping my mind around "three".  Still in denial, maybe.

A tough day today.  Kids have been a little taxing today; doesn't help that mama's sicker than a dog, still.  At least it's not the flu, but the worst pressure I've ever had in my head from this cold... causing me to not sleep, and therefore be a little more testy and impatient.  Lord, help me.  Realizing that this was what was going on - me being testy partly because of lack of sleep - helped me to become a little more patient and forgiving.  I did, however, have to tell the boys "no TV" today...and impressively, they've been stellar ever since.

And update on my to-do before baby comes list: 

• Big Cook is done.
  
• Only have 9 more swims to do, 12 more weight sessions to do, and 23 more cardio.  Umm, cardio might not get there, unless I start intentionally going for walks & stuff.  However, I don't really count a simple walk as cardio...should I?
  
• March 21st party was planned and executed, happily and mostly stress-free.  We celebrated National Procrastination Week, a week late... I also bought my groceries on the day of the party (instead of a couple days before), served dinner late (not my fault, though; the guests made me do it!), and we got the kids to bed late.  
  

And...that's as far as I've gotten in two weeks.  Hopefully this week allows for more completion!  Graeme has tomorrow off, so hopefully I can at least accomplish something.  I guess I need to get a little more serious in the evenings...but I'm so tired that I just want to kinda lay around and not do much except the essentials - dishes, laundry, tidying.

Tonight...hopefully going for a swim.  But I still feel like garbage, so we'll see how that goes.

Graeme is outside playing with the boys... I need to get supper going in a big way!

Sunday Scatterings

Today....

I slept in until 7:43.  We had friends over last night (The Group), and once again, I laughed so hard I cried and almost peed my pants (thanks to pregnancy adding to the strain!)... and yes, had contractions again.  It was awesome!

I didn't really sleep last night because I have a nasty head cold - came on suddenly, hopefully it goes just as suddenly!

I went to church.  I love the sermon series we're working through right now - Jesus the Lamb, Redeemer, etc.  I love it.  The preaching is solid and practical.

Graeme felt sorry for me and got me the safest decongestant he could find - I was actually in a lot of pain and stuff, which is somewhat unusual for me with colds.

I had a sort-of nap this afternoon - the decongestant got me wired and buggy, so I woke up after less than an hour, unable to go back to sleep.

Boys got up, Graeme got up, we played, ate supper...

And now Graeme is going to head out the door to pick up our babysitter.  Some friends from church have invited us over for a shortened games night - the husband is under the weather as well, and our babysitter has school tomorrow, so we're going for a shorter night.  'S okay with me!  I'm just happy to get together with someone from our church.  In over 2 years at our last church, despite our repeated efforts at fellowshipping in others' homes (or having people over to ours!), nothing ever happened.  We had a couple of the pastors over at various times, but our 'friends' never came over, save for Joshua's last birthday party.  We've been at our new church for only a short time, and have already had several in-home visits with various people.  It seems that people at our new church are actually genuine... when they SAY they want to get together with you, they actually follow through.  It's kinda nice!  And they're not socializing with us because they *need* something from us.  I feel like we're finally part of a community.

Anyway...gotta jet!

Wee College Grad pictures

Here are some pictures from Wee College Grad night!

Dustin is into this arm-crossing thing lately... too cute!  (Man, what a thick kid!)

Joshua walking in

Old Testament hand puppet song - this is most of Joshua's class; on the other side of the stage were the second & third-year classes, combining to make a group slightly larger than this.

Dustin cheering on his big brother

The New Testament hand puppet

He was exhausted by this point

But he started getting really goofy, too, despite his fatigue!

A song about something hiding in his pocket (or something) - it was his smile!

Shaking Pastor Brad's hand to receive his congrats & first-year binder

They graduate them younger and younger every year!

One-liners

I had some brilliant one-liners for a blog post about 3 hours ago, but suddenly our internet went down.  I've since had the most glorious nap of my life.  I've also since lost the wording to most of my thoughts.  Normally I'm fairly long-winded - or at least have trouble 'condensing' my thoughts.  

My one-liners weren't necessarily funny, just informative and to-the-point complete.  So, sorry, you'll have to read more now.

(Cohesive thoughts are not my forte right now....fuzzy brain!)

OK, anyway...

I swam my first ever 2000m swim this morning.  I had arranged to drop Dustin off at Gramma & Grampa's house after I took J to preschool, and then they would pick him up after preschool and just bring the boys to Millennium for me.  I had a pretty good swim!!  I realized at about the 1250m mark that I actually had more time left than I thought I would by that point, and that I was also feeling really good!  So I turned it up a notch and went for the longer distance!  

I'm a little sick today - just a stuffy head and sore throat, but at this stage of a cold I find exercise to be really soothing and not difficult.  And I feel better temporarily, too.  

Enter... the lane-sharers.

I got 10 laps in (the total swim was 40 laps), and a 350 lb lady decided to ask if she could share my lane.  Now, I totally have nothing against big people.  I'm a little oversized right now, myself.  But, big people move a LOT of water.  I basically drowned a few times from the waves she created ahead of her as we passed.  After about 10 laps, the lane next to us opened up and she moved over.

About 5 laps later, an older gentleman – maybe 55 or 60, and wearing a speedo (eww) – decided to jump in without telling me...now remember that I’m alone in my lane (supposedly), doing back crawl.  I can’t see if there’s anyone behind me.  The common courtesy is to let people know (or even better – ASK them!) that they’re going to share your lane.  He swam smack into me... and so I spent the last many laps hugging my lane rope – literally swimming 6” from the edge to avoid another collision.  He, too, created a lot of waves (not everyone does), and had a very, umm, wide stroke.  He kept hitting me as he passed me.  I’m literally taking up maybe 1/3 of the lane, and he still can’t keep his arms to himself.  It was frustrating.  But...that being said, I still had an awesome swim, pulled a great time (surprisingly!), and could’ve kept going.  I think I just like feeling weightless, actually.  :)  

Joshua's Wee College graduation ceremony was on Wednesday night.  Maybe it's just me, but there's something bothersome about *starting* an evening program for preschoolers at 7:00 p.m.  Don't most parents think about starting to get their kids to bed around 7:00 or 7:30?  Anyway, the program was almost two whole hours long, and then there was a dessert luncheon afterwards!!  Sure, keep preschoolers up for 1 1/2 hours past their bedtime, expect them to behave on stage for the duration of a program such as the one they had, and then load 'em up on sugar.  Thanks, guys.

Regardless, the program was super-cute and Joshua was a honey.  I'll post some pictures later.

I finally did my Big Cook this past week.  My friend Karen helped me out for two afternoons, and we got 76 meals packed away in the freezer.  The freezer is definitely stocked now.  I'm going to try and leave those meals alone until close to Baby's due date!  But some of them are very loudly calling my name already!  I'm really glad to have that massive project out of the way.  My feet were killing me!  I ended up with really bad leg cramps in the night last night; not something I deal with very often at all.

Now, for my favorite one-liner of all:

*After naps, Joshua came to snuggle with me.  This is what he said, completely out of the blue:

"Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be bald.  But I also want to have a beard.  Is that possible?"

Seriously.  A kid who wants to be bald?  Maybe he's remembering back to his infanthood and wants to relive his hairstyle days...

More on "going green"

I just realized (wow - took a while!) that the color scheme of my blog is perfect for St. Patrick's day!

Going green

I will not wear green today.

I have a green-ish (umm, not even that!) maternity shirt.   I'm not sure it would count, though.

But even if they did make leprechaun green maternity clothes, I wouldn't be caught dead in them.

At least my two littles have green shirts, which they are happily sporting today.

But the GREAT news of the day - IKEA has GREEN ICE CREAM CONES today!!  How fun!  We might have to take a little trip for a couple of $1 ice cream cones, just for the experience.  There must be SOMETHING I need at Ikea today!

Deliberate?

I said yesterday that I needed to be more deliberate about rest.

Does going to bed deliberately early, despite undone chores, count?  I figure I'm justifying it moreso because I didn't get a mid-day rest/nap like I normally do.

Today I had a dental appointment - the kids had a play date with their cousins last-minute, so I was fortunate to not have to drag my two preschoolers with me to *hope* they sit still while mama is flat on her back getting her teeth cleaned.  After that, I went to pick up the kids, and found out that it was decreed that they would all be spending the afternoon together as well, with the two youngest grabbing some shut-eye.  So I left.

Off to the pool I went.  It was kind of the last thing I *felt* like doing, but I knew I needed to do it.  So I swam a 1500m again; it felt really good!!  I love the weightless feeling.  I love that I can be in considerably less pain in the water.  If I could spend the entire day in the water, I would.  I love the time I can spend in prayer around my body, my baby, my family, my dreams...

After that, I went to Superstore.  I'm not a *big* fan of Superstore, but I use it (and Costco) for my big trips.  I'm doing a Big Cook on Wed/Thurs this week; my friend Karen will help me with the meal prep and with the kids.  Anyway, I went and bought all my non-meat groceries today.  Another heavy cart.  Lots of contractions!  

Went to finally pick up the kids, came home, made a meager supper for the boys (does oatmeal and bananas count as supper?), and then started in on 'house' stuff.  You know, clean kitchen, fold laundry, tidy up, etc.

The "doing" part of me - the part that sees the work that needs to be done - is screaming that I should be my own taskmaster tonight and just keep knocking stuff off my list.  Clean the bathrooms (my least favorite job in the entire universe).  Mop the floors.  Vacuum the carpets.  Finish the office.  Finish folding all the laundry.  Etc etc etc.

But then there's the achy part of me.  The tired part of me (Dustin was up 4 times last night - oops!).  The 'wise' part of me that is reminding me that I need to be deliberate about my rest.

So I'm going to bed by 10:00.  I think.  I think I can do it!

But, will I ever have a clean house again? 

Reminders

Reminders that freak me out right now:

• The calendar. I only have 6 wks and a day before this baby is due.  And much to accomplish by then.
  
• The paperwork.  I still have a messy office.  I made a deal with Graeme - that I would clean it up before I started any *real* sewing projects - the drapes, my mei-tai, the sling... this is a HARD one to stick by!
  
• My constant friend, the back pain.  It has become much more constant this past week - swimming doesn't seem to alleviate it any more. 
  

Reminders that comfort me right now:

• The calendar.  I *still* have 6 weeks and a day to go.  I might not be able to accomplish everything on my to-do list, but I still have a fair amount of time to get there.
  
• The paperwork.  The pile is dwindling.  The stuff can be put away.  I *will* get through this, and I'm thankful for the added motivation of wanting to sew my projects, to help me sift through the accumulated messes in here.
  
• My constant friend, the back pain.  I am thankful that I can still swim.  Swimming does not make it worse, it's relieved the pain from my abdominal split, it allows me to be quite active and pain-free (although for shorter periods of time), and it means I'm not on bed rest.  I'm thankful that I can still be this active.  I forget that I'm 85% of the way to my due date.  That's an "A" grade, for cryin' out loud!
  

In other news:

I'm back in action on worship team.  It's been...interesting.  Mostly good.  Being at church at 8:00 a.m. for rehearsal, singing for two services...it's a lot.  The pastor is wonderful, though, and today he brought me a stool for when I got too uncomfortable standing.  Today was my 2nd week back.  Different team this week than last; last week they needed a filler, and this week I started with what will likely be my "regular" team.  I'm not sure if I'll be a good fit for this team or not - personalities are a bit different, but even more than that, phases of life are quite different and I'm just not sure I "fit".  However, I totally loved singing again.  Leading in worship is one of my most favorite things to do.  

Dustin is back sleeping in his room with Joshua.  He finally went to bed without crying 2 nights ago (tonight being the 3rd), and actually slept through without any night terrors or manipulation.  What a good buddy.  So he's back sleeping with his big brother.  I heard not a peep out of them tonight.  We've been getting Dustin (especially) to repeat prayers after us - along the lines of not being afraid, trusting that Jesus is with us, asking for the blessing of good dreams and such.  Did I ever write that he says his 'bad dream' is because the house is breaking/falling apart?  We couldn't figure out where that was coming from, until a few days into the fiasco, he told us about the trumpets and Joshua and marching around the city and the walls falling down... oops.  I didn't know Bible stories could give kids night terrors.  But I guess his reasoning is valid - he's got a brother named Joshua...probably just really internalized it well!  :)

Time to put away a few more things in this office.  Early to bed tonight... meaning, maybe by 11:00?  This mama is tired - again, needing to remember that I'm quite far into this pregnancy and I need to be more deliberate about rest!

Family Day

I love when we get a 'family day'.  No plans except to have fun and play together.

Today we had our nephew's birthday party to go to.  The kids all had a blast, while the adults visited.  The party was from 11-1; we got home around 2:00 and immediately put the boys down for naps.  

After naps, we went to Millennium for a family swim - they have a wicked wave pool!  And by wicked, I mean w-i-c-k-e-d!  The waves start at half-hour intervals and last for 15 minutes each time.  So, 15 minutes of crazy waves, 15 minutes of peace & tranquility...  Problem is, I have trouble in the waves.  They are fairly vicious and constant and fast, and my back and belly were complaining at all the bracing I had to do so that I wouldn't topple over with Dustin in my arms, and of course my centre of gravity is out of whack, and so is my balance....  

That being said, it was fun.  I swam with the fam from 5 till 6 p.m., at which point I got out and hopped in to the lap tank for a 1000m swim tonight.  Graeme stayed in the family pool with the boys for another 20 minutes; they got out, got changed, and I met them in the food court area where they were eating the supper I'd packed for them.  Then we sent the kids to play in MP's play zone (climbing wall, slides, basically a big indoor playground), where they proceeded to just go crazy some more.

They were exhausted.  :)

We got home around 7:45; boys in bed shortly thereafter, and not a peep out of them.  I love it when they're *that* tired.  And content.  I love content sleepiness.  I feel contentedly tired myself...

Some days are better than others...

Today was a 'not bad' day.

I've really been struggling lately with being a mom.  With wondering how I'm going to do "this" with three kids... with two very ambitious and rambunctious boys who need to burn some steam but still need direction in doing so... direction that I'm not as able to give these days...

It's been hard.  I feel like I'm dropping the ball, like I'm not doing enough, like I'm missing out, like they're missing out... we're having behaviour issues and mama patience issues...  and it's been hard.

I keep having to remind myself that God's grace is sufficient...I don't feel it in my heart a whole lot these days, but I have to remind my head about it...God says it, so it just IS.  I have to trust it even when I don't feel it.  

Anyway - I got a 1000m daytime swim in today, and got some errands run while the kids were at G&G's house (they watch the boys once a week so I can get a daytime swim in as opposed to going out at 9:00 at night).  When the boys got home, they went outside in nothing but their boots (it was only about 7 or 8 degrees at the time) to look for some toys.  I know that they are pretty sensitive to the cold and would come in when they're ready...but they were loving being outside again without the cumbersome nature of the bulky winter clothing.  And they played.  And played.  And played some more.  Joshua came in for some mittens at one point.  But they were so happy to be outside again.  

Seeing that, I can't wait for spring, now.

I like spring OK enough, but since starting to have kids, I have developed some very serious allergies to trees.  They get worse every year.  And I can't take allergy shots b/c I'm pregnant - I was supposed to try those this year.  So I've been dreading the onset of spring these last few years.

But this year...  bring it on.  I can see the boys are ready.  They need less from me in terms of hands-on outside play, and it'll be so good for them.  They played so nicely today - the best they've done in days.  They actually played together.  Joshua was a good big brother, just like I know he can be.  Dustin was a good listener & learner.  It was beautiful.  

Now if only all moments were like that...  it was nice to back up and breathe a bit today.  Regroup myself.  Think on things.  And listen to God.

Grieved

After the sewer guy left this morning, I wanted to go into town to run a quick errand.  So I had “the talk” with the kids; they've been a handful whenever we've gone into a non-fun store lately.  ~Be good, and it’ll only take a minute.  Be bad, and it’ll take longer, and you’ll lose out on going to Playspot.~

Dustin was being an angel.  He was looking at stuff, but not being bad.  

Then there was Joshua.

First, the whining.

Then, something I had asked him to hold...he and Dustin were talking and Joshua ran up to him and swung the thing at Dustin’s face, cutting his eyelid.  Dustin screamed.  All of this happened within 2 minutes of being in the store.

Dustin was inconsolable.  Of course we had to leave – we went to the van.  Joshua got an earful from me (but I kept my cool and didn’t yell).  They both cried – it took about 20 minutes before Dustin could even open his eye so I could make sure he hadn’t been cut on his actual eyeball.  (He was OK.)  

I think I know a little bit how God must feel when His children deliberately disobey, especially when they end up causing hurt to each other.  For me, it's a combination of "sad" and "angry"... and then the word hit me - "grieved".  God is grieved at our disobedience and defiance.  He is grieved when we don't think about how our actions will affect others.  He is grieved when I yell at my kids undeservedly... or when I neglect duty for the sake of selfishness... the list goes on and on.  When we know better, but don't do better...

Oh God, help us...

Chunky Monkey & a Scholar

My hair has been getting traumatized by the pool water, so I was advised to buy and use a swim cap.  So I bought one.  Of course, Dustin had to try it.  He looks FAT in this picture - he really isn't this chunky, but the cap was messing with his face and he was really uncomfortable and squishy-feeling!  There are also remnants of his Spiderman face, so he just looks kinda, well, not so angelic.  :)

Joshua's last Wee College class was today.  He missed Picture Day - he was SO sick and his eyes had big rashes around them, so he looked terrible, too - so I took a picture at home for him, posing just like the other children.  He's done so well with his Scripture memory - he just up and quoted the entire Lord's Prayer to me, and has gotten quite a few other Scriptures under his belt, too.  What a smartiepants!

What was THAT?

Am I allowed to use the word "stupid"?

'cuz seriously, that was just a stupid night!  

I worked out last night, did some reading, and went to bed.  All was well at this point.

Shortly after 2:00, Dustin wakes.  I hear him crying, and for some reason, I bolted out of bed.  Normally I lay there for a few seconds to let the situation register - seriousness, etc.  Well, this time I bolted.

I found him halfway down the stairs.  He was racing down like a banshee.  I caught up to him at the bottom and picked him up before he ran away.  He was still asleep.  

Rocked him in the rocking chair for all of about, oh, 20 seconds before he said his feet were cold.  I asked him if he wanted to go back to bed, and he said, "Yes, please."  So with a cuddle and a backrub, I left him.

About half an hour later, he toddles into our room and climbs into our bed like he owns the thing.  *blink, blink* - big blue eyes just stare at us, saying, "I'm cute, and you know it, and you want me here!"

Well, yes, sweet child, I'm ridiculously thankful for you, you are cute as a button, and yes, we do want you here...but at 2:45 a.m.?  C'mon!

Graeme put him back to bed, as I'd kind of hurt myself bolting earlier and picking Dustin up in haste.

Less than an hour later, he comes in again...this time crying and complaining that he has a mosquito bite.  Graeme took him back to bed again.

By this point I'd slept for less than 2 hours (restless legs caught me at midnight and made it difficult to fall asleep every time D came in/woke up).

Graeme put him back to bed, and a few minutes later, though I wasn't upset, I took my restless legs downstairs to the sofa where I could flail to my leg's content.

I checked facebook quickly, got a drink of water, went to the bathroom, and then heard Joshua pattering around.  He thought that I was Daddy, and that Daddy was having breakfast without him.  He loves breakfast with Daddy.  He went back upstairs after a while, and then he called me later to remind me that he wanted Daddy to write him a note in the morning.  He was so worried that he'd miss out.  He went back to bed.

Finally, some form of fitful dozing came.

Graeme had to leave for work at 7:00 this morning.  When he found me to give me a kiss goodbye, he informed me that when he woke at 6:20, there was a little smurf sleeping next to him.  Dustin.  Out cold.  

He said, "That was weird - I woke up; my wife was missing but my two-year-old was sound asleep beside me!"

Joshua woke up around 7:20.  Dustin is still out cold, and it's 8:00.  I think his constant night waking has taken its toll.  

And I don't even get the option of a nap today - the plumber is coming at 1:00 to do some work in our basement bathroom.

The neat thing is that I'm not even upset...just tired.  Normally I get really frustrated & grumpy with a night like that, but I just have to laugh at this one...soooo strange...