And... three...

...days over 40 weeks, that is.

The three days doesn't bother me.  Not one single bit, actually!  I am so used to going "over", that I have to admit, I would've been shocked and even irritated if I'd delivered on my due date.  Why irritated, you ask?  Well, because I wasn't anywhere near ready and didn't want to be caught in a scramble and flurry should I have actually gone into labour.  In my  mind, I still had at least a week.  Now, with the flurry of contractions and such, I've sprung into gear and now I'm *physically* ready with all my supplies and suitcases packed.  I have some projects I'd like to finish up, but I know that the likelihood of those being completed before Baby's arrival are fairly slim.

To be honest, as much as I'm excited about meeting this new little person, I also know that my days are numbered with Meaghan as my "baby", and I want to soak up every moment that I can.  These days are precious, and I know her little world is about to be overturned in a huge way.

I know that I may never be *ready* to let go of Meaghan and her sweet babyhood.  She's my precious little girlie.  And since I'm reasonably (internally) convinced that this is a boy, well, I'm going to miss my "baby girl".  Call me irrational.

I know I'll love this new baby as much as the others.
But I'm going to miss my Baby Meaghan.

She calls herself a "big-goy!" now - "big girl".  She is not quite two but is reasonably potty-trained, though not perfectly.  It's still very much mama-led, but instead of every 10 or 20 minutes, we're lasting a good hour between trips to the potty.  Peeing is at mama's request, and when I sit her down, she produces within seconds.  Pooping is always a flurry of activity - usually at the dinner table - she will turn and suddenly say with wide eyes, "POOP!  RUN!" - so we (meaning, I, being 9+ months pregnant) haul her quickly out of her chair and run waddle as quickly as I can to the bathroom.  She sits on the toilet, and voila!! - poop.  With a few more weeks, we'll have a little more grace time to get to the toilet.

She loves to wear her "unnins" - she always wants the blue ones with the bears.  Unfortunately, I only have so many pairs of blue ones with bears, so then we go for pink with hearts.  She still has pee accidents, especially if mama is a little slow on the uptake and forgets to take her to the bathroom in that hour-ish window.  I've learned that I *need* to keep pants on her... washing undies and pants (that soak up the urine) at this stage is SO much easier than cleaning up piddle-puddles from the carpet in my state!

This is very exciting for me.  The boys weren't anywhere near this ready at this age.  I can't even remember the last time I changed a poopy diaper on my girlie.  I'm loving it!

Graeme is out for a movie with Tim tonight.  I had a major baby-brain moment earlier today that benefited an entire other family... I had pulled a beautiful roast (that I got on sale!) from the freezer, thawed it out, and had the brilliant idea of cutting it into steaks for supper.  Well, 6 really thick juicy steaks later, I realized that there was NO way we were going to be able to eat all that meat in one night, and I couldn't re-freeze it.  So I called Tim & Lisa and invited them over for supper!  They thought I was nuts, inviting people over when I'm "overdue", but hey, I figured it was a win-win for everyone!  They kindly obliged; Hudson and Talliah played so nicely with our kids - Huddy is a couple months younger than Dustin, and Talliah is about 6 weeks younger than Meaghan.  It was a beautiful night.  Good food, fantastic company... and then Tim whisked Graeme off to see a movie tonight.

Tim is hilarious.  Yesterday when I was picking up Dustin and another buddy from preschool, Tim called me over (he was picking up Hudson) and "cleared" a man-date with me before contacting Graeme.  I told Tim that as long as I wasn't having a baby, he was welcome to take Graeme on a date!

Well, now that I've sufficiently chucked a lot of time at a rambling bumbling blog post, I have work to do.  I'm hoping to knock one out of the 3 projects out tonight.  It is 9:15, though, and I'm reasonably tired, so I might only get half-way there.

...and that's OK.

With contractions every 6 minutes tonight (at this point, anyway), I might not even get half-way.

...and that's OK, too.

It's different this time around...

I don't remember having such consistent "prelabour" with the first 3 kids.  I would have lots of braxton-hicks contractions, but nothing predictable or patterned.  My labour day has always begun with me waking up, having some "ick factor" stuff going on, and being thrown right into consistent contractions.

This time is different.

I've now had several days in a row where the contractions have settled into a pattern, every 9-10 minutes (increased to 7 mins the other night), lasting a minute-ish, and staying for 2, 3, 5, 14 hours, then petering out.  Tonight is no exception.  I think this is night 6 or 7, maybe 8 (?) of this going on.  Not sure.

The "ick factor" that has always signaled the start of labour for me showed up today... but with no accompanying labour.

Graeme was so funny - as soon as I told him, he kind of freaked out and asked if he should stay home from work today.  (Yesterday he was in Red Deer all day at a conference, and that was tough enough for him, considering the 14 hours of contractions the day before!)

So I had a midwife appointment today, and we talked about all of this.

Am I nervous/excited/exhausted with the contractions?  Not really - they're not going anywhere productive that I can tell.  I'm not disappointed or anxious.  Rather, I am optimistic that because *this* pre-labour is so different from the first three, that perhaps the *real thing* will be quite different, too.  I am content to continue doing this for a few more days yet, if it means that active labour will be shorter and more effective.  I am praying to that end anyway!

And... Baby is no longer posterior.  *yay!*  I know things can still change and s/he can turn again, but for now, I am a happy girl.

I actually have a suitcase opened with about half of my birth supplies in it now.  :)

I can't wait for "the rest of the story".

D-Day: How it all went down

So I'm sorta counting May 3rd as my "official" due date, as that would be 40 calendar weeks.  It's how all my other due dates have been calculated, not really changed by ultrasounds, etc.  My midwife has *guessed* for May 10th, so isn't going to hit any panic buttons until well after that day, but let's just say, for sake of argument and consistency, that May 3rd is/was my official due date.

Yesterday.

What an insane day.  You'd think we were getting ready to have a baby or something.

Errands included:

• A trip to the comic book store to buy hockey card protector pages for Dustin's hockey card binder
• A trip to the appliance store for a water filter
• A wasted trip into the city to find a granite countertop sealer that I was told this particular place carried (by someone who WORKED there!), only to get there and be told, "Oh, no, we don't carry it HERE, we supply Home Depot with it; you can find the countertop cleaner in their FLOORING section!"  GAH!!  Definitely the most frustrating moment of my day...
• A trip to the mall for a mother's day gift for Graeme's mom, as well as some essential oils
• A trip to the vitamin store for arnica and hypericum pellets
• A late-night trip to Superstore for socks for my boys, because they were desperate for new socks as they're wearing holes in all their others, and the place where I normally get their socks has changed their sock selection!!  :(... also got groceries there...
• A trip to Zellers (I know, I shop at the most posh places!) to find a specific top...
• A visit with an elderly friend for an hour - such a blessing!!
• A trip to the pharmacy to drop off a prescription for Dustin
• A trip to a friend's place to pick up a bassinet they are lending us
• A trip to another friend's house to pick up some lip balm - only one kind exists that doesn't drive me crazy or make me feel all irritated or waxy...
• Picking up Dustin's little friend and driving them both to preschool before everything else
• ...and one more that I just can't remember right now, but I know I had 13 total on my list!

Then, since I couldn't possibly do it all myself, Graeme had to get in on the action...

• He needed to get the tires retorqued on the car...
• He picked up Dustin's prescription from the pharmacy...
• He went to Home Depot to pick up the countertop stuff...
• He came home for supper, all huffing and puffing from *all his erranding that I made him do* (kidding!)
• He went out to pick up something we'd ordered from Sears...
• He ran to the water warehouse to fill all our empty water bottles...
• and...he had an eye appointment.

Some of my errands happened after he ran all his errands... he joked earlier in the day about "winning" in the "number of errands" department, but I told him that was just not going to be possible!!  Looks like I win!

The most fun part of the day though?

Contractions.

All. Day. Long.

And I do mean that.

Starting around 10 a.m., they were regularly around 10 minutes apart, lasting around a minute each.

They went this way for about 5 or 6 hours, then stopped for an hour.

Then they started up again, for a few more hours...

Then they got even more interesting, increasing to 6-7 minutes apart!

(Ya think my bag is packed yet?  Not on your life!)

As soon as I laid down for bed at midnight, they decreased to 10 minutes apart for about half an hour, then stopped completely.

I had a great sleep!!

Today - a bit more laundry, packing some bags and organizing my birth supplies, and relaxing with my munchkins.  If you can believe it, I actually have NO errands to run today.  This is *unheard of*.

Off to my slow snail's pace day! - looking forward to it!

1/8

Ummm....

so maybe, while I did rest, I also added in a couple of extra little tasks.

...such as making 13 dozen and one meatballs...

...and 8 dozen and 10 cookies.

Nesting?  Yeah, you could say that.

I also did a bit more of the spring cleaning list; there really wasn't much left, and then Graeme tackled the rest tonight.

Meaghan has been very defiant these last two days, and it's been *hard*.  I hope it's just another tooth, as she pulled this for a couple of days with her last eye tooth.  I need her to be a little more cooperative right now!

Grumpy, sore, tired mama is going to bed now.

2/9

Two single digits.

It was a tough morning.  I coughed and coughed all night last night, and didn't sleep well as a result.  This morning I'd felt as though I'd been hit by a bus.  I thought some good breakfast and a shower would help me perk up, but instead I ended up weeping in the shower.  I couldn't recover.

*wrong direction* in the mood department.

I then ended up staying home from church, and Graeme and the three kids went to church without me.  I finally fell asleep and got about an hour's sleep.  I felt wayyyyy better when I woke up.

Our small group came over this afternoon around 4 p.m.  We've been starting to do work-bee type tasks for  each others' families, and today was our home's turn.  Between 7 or 8 of us (we started with 7, ended with 8), we did 15 man-hours worth of work in under two hours.

My house is totally spring-cleaned, with the exception of a few little spots.  Baseboards, windows, window tracks, doors and trim, as well as "normal" cleaning (bathrooms, dusting, etc)... around 90% done.  Four beds with sheets changed.  Graeme did vacuuming yesterday.  Bathrooms thoroughly cleaned, including the yucky behind-the-toilet places.  Walls spot-washed.  The rest? I should be able to handle, or at least delegate to Graeme to finish.

The lawn has been raked and tidied.  The trampoline is now completely set up.

Two teen girls from our church came to babysit for all the adults - around 10 kids traipsed down to the park while we adults handled the workload.

We fed the crew.  One of the guys bbq'd.  We feasted and fellowshipped together.

Someone brought cookies, and someone else brought a big dish of cannelloni; both items went into the freezer.

My house feels, for the first time in a long time, truly clean.  I know I'm too hard on myself sometimes, but I gotta say, it feels good to have the baseboards and window tracks taken care of.  I feel like my house is a little more sparkly because of those ladies' efforts.  They wanted me to kick my feet up and relax, but that would've felt a little awkward, so I cleaned, too.  I just left the low-down stuff for someone else.

Tomorrow - more laundry.  I've got one more load of sheets and a load of cleaning rags to take care of!!
Tomorrow - out to vote.
Tomorrow - pediatric appointments in the city for the two youngest kids.
Tomorrow - soccer meeting.
Tomorrow - resting, too.  I promise.

I truly am blessed.  I feel like I'm *almost* ready to have a baby now.  A few more days should take care of the rest of my to-do lists....

3/10

Today I...

...baked cookies
...played with a sweet girlie while the boys were out with Daddy and Great-Grandpa
...cleaned a bathroom
...tried to nap, but then woke up 20 minutes later coughing
...went to two out-of-town meetings
...grocery shopped at 9:45 p.m.
...cleaned my kitchen
...pre-cleaned my house for a workbee here tomorrow

Not really a *full* day as such.  I actually felt a little lazy.

I've been getting contractions for the last three nights, lasting around 2 hours, every 8-9 minutes, in addition to the many I get throughout the day.  Nothing significant, and not even all that uncomfortable, but just *obvious*.  One of these nights, the contractions won't stop, and there'll be a new baby to announce.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of May.  Meaghan is the extended family's *only* May baby (aside from my brother whom we never see), but we have about 5 April birthdays to celebrate.  So, I'm happy to be adding to the May numbers rather than the April numbers.

With that...

Good night!

6/13

'Nother busy day... teaching my wee girlie how to buy groceries.  She got sick of being in the cart, so I let her walk with Dustin.  Suddenly my shopping trip got faaaarrrrr less efficient, but it sure was fun and cute! She didn't even throw fits when I had her put things back on the shelf that she'd chosen for our cart!

I even employed her muscles - and Dustin's muscles, too - to push the cart.  I merely had to gently steer from the front so that they wouldn't run into anything.  The cart was pretty full, and they had a blast pushing it for me.

We got home... all that cart-pushing must've worn the kids out.  They slept for 2 1/2 hours, which means that I also got a fantastic nap in today!  I needed it, after a couple nights of not-so-stellar sleep.

The weather has been glorious, and the street-sweepers came by today, meaning that the roads are now a LOT more clear for the kids to ride scooters on.  Yesterday I started re-assembling the trampoline also, but I think the padding/straps have to be repaired before we can continue.  Add that to my to-do list, I suppose.  No way I'm letting the kids (especially Dustin!) jump on the trampoline without the padding over the springs or the enclosure installed!

Baby has finally started moving a bit more again.  S/he has been verrrrry quiet these last 3-4 days.  Too quiet.  I'm thankful to be feeling those pokes and jabs again.

I've realized that I'm nowhere near ready for this baby... I mean, in the sense that we actually have to have things like a carseat installed in the van, or a bag to take with us to the hospital (should we even make it that far), etc.  Oh, and names?  We need to actually NAME this baby?

Midwife appointment tomorrow.  Graeme was able to get off a bit early (he will have to make up the time on Friday), and our midwives are giving us a "later than normal" appointment so that Graeme can come and visit with them again.  He's met them once before, but I think it would help his comfort level a lot if he could spend more time with these women.

Graeme napped on the sofa for almost an hour tonight while I cleaned the kitchen about 15 feet away.  You'd think HE was the one who'd pushed that cart around the store for over an hour!  Ha ha.  To his credit, he did eventually wake up and finish what he said he'd take care of.  Good hubby.  Good, good hubby.  You don't have to go out to the dog house tonight.

Thus are my rambling thoughts for today...

7/14

Learning my limits....?

I'm not very good at it.

Today I went to volunteer at Joshua's school for a couple of hours.  I hadn't yet been in this year, and I know that Joshua has wanted me to come.  So I went in, did a few admin things for the teacher, and hung out with my boy at lunch time (until they went out for recess).  Fun times - really!

Then I went to run errands.  I picked up a few things for labour and post-partum, but then, when I was at the mall, suddenly I couldn't move very quickly any more.  My back began to hurt like the dickens, just out of the blue.

I couldn't even make a decision about a toothbrush.  My brain had officially turned to mush and I was incapable of any coherent thought.  So, I went home and attempted to sleep.

I woke up about half an hour later to some random noises outside and couldn't fall back asleep from being so hot.  I'm *finally* roasting - every single pregnancy finds me frozen for 8 1/2 months, and then sweltering for the last 2+ weeks, so now I need to sleep with my window wide open.  I felt OK, in spite of the really short nap.

Eventually, I went to pick up Joshua from the bus... got snacks for the kids... got supper ready to go... and played outside with the kids.  I played soccer with the boys, and football with Joshua.  I raked some sections of the yard where some grass had been sitting, and then started setting up the trampoline for the new season - spring - finally!  (I had to drag the frame out of the garden first, though...)

After supper, we went out as a family for a 2+ mile walk.  It was a fantastic family time!!  What a blessing to see the boys have a crazy amount of fun on a simple walk - Joshua rode his bike slowly and Dustin was on his scooter.  They chattered incessantly and loudly... and Meaghan had fun in her stroller, too.

About 1 1/2 miles into it, I needed a rest.  The contractions seemed fairly constant, though not "useful", and I was pretty achey.

You think I'd have learned...

...and now my brain is mush again.

I guess I just feel that if I actually feel half-decent, I want to be doing something useful and productive - otherwise I just feel lazy.  Problem is, I still haven't figured out when "enough is enough".  I wonder if I ever will?

8/15

I don't feel safe.

At a time of pregnancy where one would hope to be surrounded by supportive people, I found myself having to stand my ground and be on complete defensive last night.

I was tired and therefore a little irritable.

It's hard to defend my informed choices with other non-informed people in the room.

I can extol the virtues of midwifery care until I'm blue in the face.

I can talk about their training and the fact that they are monitoring you with watchful eyes throughout the entirety of active labour... I can lose my breath as I explain how their method of care includes derailing challenges before they become crises... I can reassure until I'm practically begging that trained midwives are NOT new age women who will risk my life and my baby's life, but that will transfer care readily in the unlikely event of true complication.

I can explain the logistics of birth and how "modern hospital births" usually "require" the women to be strapped onto monitors continually, reducing their efficiency of movement and therefore comfort and progression of labour... how laying flat on one's back while you labour or push your baby out against gravity is not exactly a recipe for success but usually will delay labour to a point of the doctor diagnosing you with "failure to progress" and head you out for a c-section before dinnertime... (and yes, I've actually had nurses confess to me that the ob/gyns that they've worked with have done this on a regular basis)...

These people I had to defend myself against?  No, they weren't merely curious about my choice - I'd have recognized the difference.  It was more of a "how dumb can you be" type of lead-in to the conversation...

I don't feel safe with these people.

There are others that I do, thankfully, feel safe with.  Others who are intrigued by my choices, even though they'd still choose differently.  They are still supportive and praying.  They strengthen me rather than seek to shred my confidence.

I want to feel safe.

10/17

Ten days to my "first" due date.

Seventeen to my "guess date" set by my midwives, based on my history.

Shouldn't I be nesting or something?

Baby is active... VERY active!

I went for my first massage today in over 1 1/2 years.  I am too far along to use the special pregnancy pillow and lay on my stomach, so I laid on my side, and I gotta say, it was WAY nicer than I expected.  I'm not the type of girl that goes for a relaxation massage, but when I do go (which obviously is not very often), I like the therapist to dig deep.

It felt SO good.  I've been a bit of a hurtin' unit these last couple of weeks; chiro adjustments have helped to an extent, but I've known for a while that I've got some muscular things going on as well.

Best massage, ever...?  Probably.  Not that I've been for *that* many.

There's something daunting to me (still) about natural childbirth, even though I've been down both roads before and know which road leads me to the better outcome.  So I've been doing probably more reading than is necessary - lots of positive reinforcement, lots of praying, lots of focussing on the positive... and yes, even a few not-terribly-graphic YouTube videos, too.

It's bedtime.  I feel like it's always bedtime these days.  It wouldn't take much for me to fall asleep at almost any given moment...  now if only Baby would sleep when Mama lays down...  :)

The Anatomy of a Pregnancy Food Craving, Broken Down into 10 Simple Steps

I found this article here, and Graeme and I both had a big laugh over it!

Even my husband, sweet and godly man that he is, to this day… 23 years and 7 pregnancies later… does not understand in his heart of hearts the strange animal that is the pregnancy food craving.  So, for all you fathers and fathers-to-be out there, I’m here to help you out.  I’m going to break it down for you in the simplest of terms. This will help you and potentially save your life. You can thank me later.

1) When a pregnant woman needs something to eat, she needs something to eat RIGHT THAT VERY MINUTE. Any delay of any kind will result in an onslaught of nausea and fatigue (and possible grumpiness about the nausea and fatigue) the likes of which ruins every body’s day.

2) When a pregnant woman tells you she needs Joe’s Italian tomato soup, there is only one solution. Call Joe’s as you are driving over so that it can be ready to go as soon as you get there. No other tomato soup will do. Do not even think about bringing in a can of Campbell’s Tomato Soup from Publix. Bad things will happen.

3) Do not make fun of a pregnant woman’s food cravings. She knows it’s not normal to want mashed potatoes and cheesecake at 9:34pm.

4) Do not make substitutions when sent to the store for something specific. If Dove milk chocolate with almonds is not available at Publix, do NOT bring home Hershey’s milk chocolate with almonds. Go to another store until you find it. But, be quick about it. (See Rule #1)

5) Do not inquire, make reference to, or bring to attention in any way shape, form, or fashion the calorie count of a particular food craving. Just don’t do it. Trust me on this one.

6) If a pregnant woman does not get the specific thing she wants in the allotted time frame, she then feels very sick. Should this happen, it is best not to imply she might feel better if she would just get up and “do something” around the house. Bodily injury might occur. To you, that is.

7) Pregnant women eat lots of times during the day, usually not at the normal mealtime. Don’t tell a pregnant woman not to eat her pickles and raspberries because she’ll ruin her dinner. She knows when dinner is and she doesn’t care if she ruins it.

8 ) Speaking of dinner, do not complain when you are served hashbrown casserole every night for a week. When a pregnant woman finds something that works, she sticks with it.

9) Do not suggest that a pregnant woman might want to choose something healthier to eat. She knows it’s bad for her. But, she NEEDS it. It’s a strange dichotomy.

10) Last but not least, for all that is good and right, if your pregnant wife needs something from the store at midnight, get up out of bed and go get it for her… preferably without complaining. It will make both your lives happier.

This concludes today’s crash course in understanding the pregnancy food craving. Class dismissed.

Fair game

We've told all the "personal contact" people we've needed/wanted to tell about the baby at this point, so if you happen to let something slip on facebook, no worries now.  :)  For those of you who have known for a few weeks already, thanks SO much for humoring me and keeping it under wraps!

So Predictable...

So, like clockwork, I get really sick every single pregnancy, first trimester.

This one is no exception.

There's the whole morning sickness thing, which, admittedly, has knocked me flat on my rear end this time around.  With the first 3, my "morning sickness" was from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. every day, almost without exception.  This time, though, it's 24/7.  And I do mean 24 hours a day... I wake up at 3 a.m. bolting for the bathroom.  First thing in the morning.  All day long.  All night long.  I'm 15-16 weeks now, and it *might* be starting to abate a bit.

But it's hard to tell for sure, because I've had a sinus infection for over 6 weeks, and a cough that wracks my entire body, leaving me lightheaded with a burning chest and headache to rival some of the migraines I used to get when we lived in Daysland.  Thankfully, I don't have the 12-day fever I had when I was expecting Meaghan (that was around the 9-week mark with her), but for all other purposes, I'm just as sick now as I was then.

Sadly, I've been increasingly antisocial... not pushing my friends away, but holing myself away.  It's all I can do to make sure my kids eat "real food" off of "clean plates" these days.  The only reason my boys (aged 6 and 4) have clean underwear is because they know how to load the washing machine and run the dryer, and fold their own clothing.  Two of the kids, as well as Graeme, have also been really sick, but the course of their illnesses ran about 1 1/2 weeks total.  I'm over 6 weeks now.  My immune system apparently stinks during pregnancy.

I am thankful for friends who have offered to provide meals for our family - hence the "real food" part of my goal, definitely not all of my own doing.  It's hard for me to ask for help, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and when you have friends who are always telling you to call them if you need anything... well, I'm swallowing my pride and calling.

Maybe the end is in sight...

Clothes

I've officially reached that really, really awkward stage of pregnancy where none of my *new* clothes fit any more, but where my maternity stuff just falls/hangs off of me.

It is in these moments that I am *ever so grateful* that I never got to altering some of my favorite *big* clothes from before.  I dug through my "bin of things to be altered", found some pants, put them on, and literally sighed and said, "Oh, that is SO much better."

Now I can go about my day a whole lot less self-conscious than I was 10 minutes ago.