Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Sanity

I saw this on a friend's profile on facebook, and I thought it was just way too good to keep to myself!

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, and point a hair dryer at passing cards. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercome. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write, "For smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy.
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme?
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"