You came here to get...WHAT??

So, I'll do my best to tell the story as Graeme told it to me.  I told him HE should blog it, but he never did.  I may convert him one day yet!

Background:  we take out our babysitting money and some "miscellaneous" spending cash out once a month.  But this time, I needed some 5's and 10's to make change, which necessitated a trip actually INTO the bank that morning, since the ATM's only give out 20's.

"You wouldn't believe what happened when I went into the bank.  When I walked up to the teller and asked for $xx in cash, she looked at me like I was in the wrong place.  She actually said to me, 'You need...cash?'  It took SO long for her to get me the cash, because, well, since they're a bank, they don't actually keep ANY cash right in front of them any more.  But she had also taken off so fast that I didn't actually get to tell her that I wanted to get 5's and 10's instead of straight 20's.

"So she eventually got back into the safe and came up with my cash.  She counted it out in front of me, recounted it in her little machine (because it's obviously too hard to count multiple $20 bills) and then handed it to me.  I then told her that I needed some of the 20's broken into 5's and 10's.

"She looked at me with the most puzzled look on her face.  She found some change, and counted it out in front of me again.  She shoved it towards me, but when I told her that she shorted me $20, well, she immediately got flustered and frazzled, recounted it, confirmed that she'd shorted me, added the missing bills, counted it AGAIN, and then handed me the money again.  She walked away, her day completely ruined.

"...and it was only 15 minutes since the bank had opened."

The Parking Spot

It happens every time, without fail.

In a parking lot with 3000 other vehicles (okay, maybe only 1000), it amazes me how, when I need to nurse my baby, that the second I'm, umm, exposed, the person in the next car shows up to load up their purchases and hop into the seat closest to where I'm sitting.

For example, last night at Ikea, I'm sitting in the passenger's seat, hungry baby at breast.

A middle-aged couple walks down the parking lot, and Graeme says, "I bet they're coming to the red car next to you."

And of course they did.

And of course they sat there for an extended period of time.

And of course it was a man in the driver's seat.  Four feet from me.

Sigh.  I can't even feel like I'm nursing in private when I'm in my own vehicle!!

Road Trip to SK

I decided it would be a good idea to road-trip it with four kids to visit Karen in south-western Saskatchewan last week. Thankfully, I stopped in Camrose to pick up Karen's daughter Melissa.  There's no way I would've been able to manage all 4 kids alone on the travelling days!!  Between poopy blowouts, potty breaks, snack breaks, and mosquitoes, I definitely needed the extra hands!

Pretty girl...

Tucker, Karen's dog... oh wait, maybe it's Joshua's dog now?  Play fetch with Joshua.

Hanging out...

We took a trip to the train station; Peter took the boys (and me!) on an engine ride to a grain terminal 3 miles away.  The engine had to go really slow thanks to track conditions, but the boys thought it was pretty fun anyway!

After a long and hot day...

Little buddies - no, they didn't sleep like this!  I did, however, manage to have all 3 big kids sleeping in the same room for 4 nights in a row!  Took some engineering, but we did it!

Oh, Dustin...

We took a trip to the Great Sand Hills... this is sort of at the bottom of the big hill, I think...

This gives you a bit of an idea of how big the hill was...

At the top - me and my munchkins!

Rolling down the sand hills...

Running down the sand hills... if you look really closely, you can see Dustin's legs in the air, just to the left of Joshua... Dustin was going so fast he tripped!

All in all, a good week.  I could've done without the trauma of nearly running out of gas on our way out to the sandhills the first day (and having to turn back without my leading party knowing I was turning around)...  I could've done without it being so hot we were stuck inside most of the trip... but...

The cookies were awesome...

The Spencer-snuggles were awesome...

Joshua playing fetch with Tucker was pretty awesome...

The train ride was awesome...

The boys playing tetherball at the park in town was awesome...

The coloring, movie-watching, and game-playing were awesome...

The naps were awesome...

The kids did awesome...

It was a good trip.  

Till next time...

Shoes and Goldfish

What do the two have in common, you ask?

Well, Meaghan was eating a snack of goldfish and raisins.

Suddenly, her bowl was empty.

Dustin's shoe, however, was not.  And she was happily munching her snack from its new dish...

Nice, honey.

Missing you...

I know, Jillian, I know.

I miss you, too.

My muscles aren't nearly as sore as they ought to be, but that's what happens when you're counting on me to show up, and I ditch you two days in a row.

I'm sorry, but I can't help it.

You might like to know that my daughter is feeling better, though.  However, when my husband left with the three biggest kids today to run errands and take them to the library, I took the opportunity during my baby's nap to *gasp* do dishes, run and fold some laundry, clean out the winter bin, clean out the dress-up bin, vacuum the carpet and main floor, clean out the van, and clean out my freezer.  I know there were a couple of other things in there, too, but I can't remember them all.  My baby was sleeping and I *had* to get some stuff done.

And tonight?  Well, tonight I'm going on a date with my husband to a work party.  Sorry, but he is just slightly more important than you are.  He won't exercise with me, but he probably loves me more.  Just sayin'.

You'll be happy to know, though, that I am still suffering... at the advice of my midwife, and in doing a whole lot of research over the years, a light bulb has finally gone on and I am giving up certain ingredients in my diet - for now.  We'll see if it makes a difference in how I feel overall or not.  I suspect it will, but the cravings are pretty intense.  You'll be happy to know that I'm staying strong.  You'd be proud of me, even if I didn't pull on the spandex and lace up the sneakers.  (You *don't* want to really see me in spandex...)

See you tomorrow... maybe?

Day Three

My date with Jillian didn't happen this morning.

My girlie had a 103.7 fever last night and is a complete disaster this morning.  She slept for over 13 hours, having gone to bed early last night.  Not sure what's wrong with her, but life is not happy right now.  It's impossible to cuddle with a crying 2-year-old while nursing a newborn.  Meaghan doesn't want to share mama.  She doesn't sit and watch TV, so I can't just plop her in front of the idiot box (did I really just call it that?  I must be grumpy) and go about my day.

The reality is that I've had at least one kid crying at all points during the entire morning.

Spencer is not napping today, either - he is down for 10 minutes and then starts screaming as though he hasn't eaten in about 3 days.  He slept sort of decently last night, thankfully, but between the sick girlie and the little baby up twice last night (only twice, thankfully!), I am exhausted.  Dustin has been taxing my reserves today as well.

I am mentally drained.

Isn't exercise supposed to help the state of mind?

Sigh.  Maybe later today.  She's counting on me!  (And no, she wouldn't understand... she doesn't have kids of her own!)

30-Day Shred?  Sure, I feel shredded, but not in a good way right now!

Committed

OK...

Yesterday was Day One.

Today was Day Two.

It's time.  Time for what, you ask?  Time for this:

I am officially 6 weeks and 2 days post-partum.  I had actually hoped to start formally exercising sooner, but it just didn't happen.  On the one hand, it feels like forever since Spencer joined our family, so it naturally feels like I've been slothing my way through my days, not exercising.  On the other hand, I have to remember that it's ONLY been 6 weeks, and that technically, I was still *recovering*.  Gah.  Still doesn't help how I feel about my body at this present moment in time...  I'm glad I've gotten in a few really big walks, though, often with Spencer wrapped to me.

So yesterday (June 22nd), Spencer was kind enough to wake up at precisely 6:41 a.m. to nurse.  He was also kind enough to be out cold, asleep again by 7:02 in bed beside me.  He was also kind enough to remind me (as I hike my nightshirt up to feed him) how amply soft and squishy my tummy is, and nice enough to point out that I had the perfect amount of time to complete a workout before Daddy had to leave for work.

(Have I ever mentioned how smart he is?  And have I ever mentioned what Joshua said to me about my tummy not being very flat yet?  Such motivators my boys are...)

The very first time I picked up this DVD about a year and a half ago, I popped it into the DVD player and proceeded to smoke Level One.  I honestly thought, "You know, I'm sweating, and it was challenging, but it wasn't that bad!"

The next morning, I couldn't walk down the stairs without holding onto the handrail like an old lady.  It took me about 4 days to recover.

Have I mentioned how long it's been since I've formally worked out?  Months.  And months.  Umm, let's see... I ran my half-marathon last August and felt sick during the last half of it.  Found out a week later that I was pregnant, and had been already during my half-marathon.  The morning sickness never stopped until week 22-ish, by which point I figured I was already so far gone from the exercise routine, why start up again?  (Ok, it wasn't that bad, but I was definitely not putting in a whole lot of effort... morning sickness, chased back with a healthy dose of the flu for most of us in the fall, add the strep incident for Joshua in the early spring... I just never recovered.)

So yeah, it's been a while.

Too long.

Now, while I have to say that I still didn't think level one was all that bad when I laced up my sneakers yesterday morning.  I definitely struggled a bit, but did every single thing demanded of me by sweet Jillian.  I sweated, and by the time I hit the shower right after my workout, I felt like I was going to pass out.  Literally.  Everything - and not just my amply soft and squishy tummy - was like jelly.  Maybe that's what I get to pay for working out first thing in the morning.  By last night, I was a little stiff.  Just a tiny bit in my pectorals.  Because, you know, with nursing, I need bigger pectorals to accentuate what's already there.

By this morning...?  Well, it wasn't terrible.  I was definitely stiff and sore, mostly my pecs and shoulders.

So, Spencer, being the smart boy that he is, decided it would be super helpful to wake up just a teeny bit earlier this morning - 6:20.  However, he forgot the part about going back to sleep, and finally zonked out at - you guessed it - 7:02.  What a consistent child!  He thought he'd help me work out by keeping me awake long enough that there's no way I'd be able to fall back asleep, so I might as well go work out...

So I did.

And it hurt.  It took a few minutes before my muscles were warmed up enough to not be absolutely screaming at me...  But Jillian and I?  We're becoming buddies.

By the end of the workout, I thought, "Hey, I can do level two!"  But alas, I was out of time.

But right now - about 15 hours post-workout-#2, I am very, very happy that I was not tempted to do Level Two.

My abs (upper, lower, and obliques) are sore.  My upper back is stiff.  My shoulders and pecs are still sore.  My glutes are sore (good to know there are still muscles in there!).  My hammies are sore, my quads are sore.  My triceps and biceps are even a teeny bit sore.

And we all know how much worse the stiffness gets overnight, when you haven't moved more than a couple of times all night long...

I won't be able to move tomorrow morning.

But Jillian and I?  We're buddies.  And she's counting on me to be there tomorrow.  It isn't called "30-Day Shred" for nothing.  That whole "20 lbs in 30 days" thing, I'm not so hung up on, because let's face it, at 6 weeks post-partum, the last thing I'm interested in doing is eating salads and chicken all day long. I can't tweak my diet the way I ultimately want to, quite yet.  I'd settle for 10 lbs, though... yeah.  I can do that.  Sadly, I have more weight to lose than I'd care to admit.

The good thing is this:  I know that I will be able to do it.  I've done it before, and I *will* do it again.  It might take me longer this time - I'm starting earlier and have to ease in a bit more than last time (mostly because I don't want to wreck my "recovering body"), and let's face it, until Graeme can lactate, I am stuck a little closer to home.  And really... Graeme, alone, with 4 kids?  I still want him to love me, so I shouldn't really do that to him, unless they're all sleeping when I head out.

This time, I have no gym membership.  I have no pool pass (though I will likely get a punch pass come fall time).  What I do have are my buddies Jillian and Bob (he has to wait for a while longer before he gets to spend any time with me, though), my running shoes, and my motivation.

And I have friends who love me even if I am packing around a little extra these days.

(I just realized that I'm not going to be able to do 30 days straight, since I'm leaving to go to Saskatchewan to visit a friend in a week, and will be there for several days... not sure I want to really "do that" to my hosts... it might be traumatic... maybe I'll bring my runners and hit the road a couple times instead.)

With that... it's 10:07.  I need my beauty sleep if I'm going to be ready for Jillian in the morning!

Highly Overrated

Sleep, you ask?

Well, yes, sort of.  "Who needs sleep?  *I* don't need 8 hours in a row to feel human!" This is often said sarcastically by exhausted moms who are absolutely desperate for a reprieve to dreamland.

Today, though, I come at it from a bit of a different angle.

Sleep IS highly over-rated.  Because, well, I got some last night.  To the tune of 7 hours straight.

Do I feel amazing?  You bet!  Really, I'm alert and I've already gotten a few things done today, including inviting one of Dustin's friends over to play for a while.  It usually takes me a lot of will-power and resolve to have a little buddy over; usually I don't have the head space for it, even though it means that my morning is made much easier in the end, not to mention that the happiness level of my children has also skyrocketed!

I digress.

OK.  So yes, I slept.  It was glorious.

Normally, Spencer goes down at 9 (give or take half an hour) and wakes around 1:30, which is awesome.  Yesterday, though, I kinda messed him up by letting him nap for five hours straight (!!!), taking him out for a late-evening walk in his wrap (he slept again), meaning that he was awake for a while after I got home, and went down at 11 last night.

But, when I woke up at 6 this morning, I was in so.much.pain.  The kind that only a nursing mum can know.  And even though he fed wonderfully, I still had an excess... so much so that after I showered and towelled off, I couldn't figure out why water was still dripping onto my feet.  Oh right.  Not water.

Not only that, but I was in a dilemma at that glorious 6 a.m. hour.  Do I pee or do I get my ravenously hungry, screaming child?  Because, my friends, I do rely on the middle-of-the-night pee breaks.  My bladder is also not accustomed to sleeping through the night...

I'd rather get up once at 3 a.m., I think...

Father's Day is bittersweet

What do you put as your status update on facebook, on a day when everyone is putting up posts about how wonderful their fathers are?

How am I supposed to feel when my own father hasn't bothered to try?
When my biggest memories of 'dear old dad' relate to the amount of alcohol he consumed?
When the last words my dad ever penned to me were harsh words of slander and belittling, after my husband and I had tried to reach out and reconcile a relationship gone wrong a few months after the birth of my firstborn?

Joshua will be 7 tomorrow.  He was born on Father's Day 2004.
The last time we saw my father was at Thanksgiving 2004 - Joshua was not quite 4 months old.

My dad has never met my three youngest children.  They are asking tougher questions as they years add up.  Why don't we see him?  Why doesn't he like us?  What did he say that made you so sad?  Why won't he talk to you?

I am thankful...
...thankful for a little family comprised of my husband and four beautiful children.  Our life isn't perfect, my marriage isn't perfect, but we are committed to becoming better and stronger daily.
...thankful for friends who fill those gaps left by uncaring and disinterested relatives.
...thankful that even though my in-laws drive me up the wall sometimes (and I have to keep my distance emotionally a lot of the time), that they are still good grandparents and love my kids to death.
...thankful for the examples of great dads around me...investing daily in their relationships with their children and being intentional in teaching and loving them.

...and, most of all, thankful for a Heavenly Father who promised me in His Word:

...that He would never leave me nor forsake me... 

...that He would not leave me comfortless or as an orphan... 

...that He would uphold me with the righteousness of His right hand... 

...that He would give me the desires of my heart if I commit my ways to Him... 

...that if I wait on Him, that He would renew my strength... 

...that He delights in me and sings over me, and that He is mighty to save... 

...that He who began a good work in me would be faithful to complete it...

...that He loves me.

Adoration and First Smiles

My big boys can't stop loving their littlest sibling...and I can't blame them!

Spencer's first smiles (first caught on camera, anyway - he started smiling around 3 weeks old; these were taken at about 3 1/2 weeks) - he's just so precious, and melts me with his gorgeous smile and happy eyes!

Telling stories...

Spencer, tummy time on mama's favorite baby play blanket (uhh, mama's ONLY baby play blanket), new FuzziBunz diaper... 

This little man brings me such simple peace and joy... in a family where chaos sometimes reigns supreme, I can always find a little oasis of peace when I snuggle down with this littlest treasure.  I love him.

Preschool Graduation

Dustin is a riot, and is getting harder and harder to take pictures of!  The little man had his preschool graduation at the end of May, and it was nothing short of pure chaos (to me, anyway, with the crowds and a 3 week old baby).

Receiving his diploma:

Sometimes, he just really doesn't like to pose... I think this might be either "indifference" or "I'm cool" - I'm not sure which.

Heh heh - the pinata.  Graeme is on the right, and another friend is on the left... when the big swingers would come up, the men (very smartly) moved their bodies farther away from the pinata, extending their arms.  At the Christmas party, one dad almost got, umm, injured - if you think about the level of swing in relation to the body part that might get injured...

Dustin and his two best buddies, Hudson and Will - these three are such stooges!!

My son, the motivator

I think it's time to start training for my next half-marathon.

My motivation?

My eldest son, who, just this morning, asked me why my stomach was still a little round... or maybe he said, "not flat"... I can't remember.  It means the same thing anyway.

*sigh*

Thanks, buddy.  I love you, too.

It's just hormones...

...except that hormones don't cause fevers, do they?

Three days of bone-shattering shivers, alternating with drenching sweats... full-body aches and dizziness...

I am thankful for friends who simply take charge, who let themselves into my house and scoop up my munchkins and take them for the morning... or the day... leaving me to only tend to a tiny nugget's needs (which, admittedly, are not too great right now - he's pretty simple!)...

Today is better.  Last night was filled with drenched clothes again, but no fever or chills.  So now, I think it IS just hormones.

His Cuteness is calling!

Snippets

Man, what a ride it's been...

But just so that you know I'm still alive, here are some pictures from the past couple of days!

Spencer here with his daisy we received from our church... they always put a flower on the table at the front of the church to "commemorate" a baby's arrival!

Post-bath posing...

These are the two tulips we got from the Walk to Remember... I can't believe they actually bloomed!!

Meaghan...snack... 'nuff said.

Meaghan...Dustin's finger...nose... 'nuff said.

Graeme, Joshua, post-soccer water drinks...

Yah, totally posed.

Spencer with his great grandma and great grandpa.  This is their first meeting, and it was pretty sweet!

The "I love you" hand.

Pretty girl.  No time to crop photos, folks, so ya get a little tiny girl and a big van in the picture!

Joshua... Meaghan's hat... oh boy.  Yikes.

More another time... 

He is...

...perfection...

...BIG!... *this was taken before the weight was finalized on the scale, so it's not accurate in this picture*

*this is the official weight*

...loved...

...examined...

...surrounded with chaos...

...and surrounded by love...

...well looked after...

...fawned over...

...already cherished...

...part of a bigger picture...

...adored by friends...

...our little Spencer!!

...in his "staying home from the hospital" outfit...

...adored by his big sister...

...a treasure to all of us...

Born May 9, 2011 @ 2:03 a.m.

Weighing 9 lbs and 3/8 of an ounce (but we'll just call it 9 lbs)

Measuring 22.5" long

Welcome to our world,  Baby Spencer Daniel!!