I shed a few tears today.
Today was the day we stood before our church family, Graeme's family, and many of our close friends and presented Spencer to God, publicly declaring that we were intending to raise Spencer to know God and pray that Spencer will one day serve Him.
The mix of emotions - happy that God has chosen us to be Spencer's parents. That *I* get to be his mama. I love this little man something fierce.
{Listening to Pastor Mike talk - Spencer looking straight at Auntie Carly.}
Happy that God has seen fit to provide my kids with good grandparents on Graeme's side of the family. Our relationship with them is rocky at times, but they *are* good grandparents.
Sad that my own family could still care less.
Hurt that my own mother and father can't be bothered.
I didn't even bother inviting my mom to this one. I invited her to the last two dedications (Dustin's and Meaghan's), and she made lame excuses about being too busy (she didn't work full time at the time and only lives an hour away). I've also invited her to countless kid birthdays and Christmases and Thanksgivings, with no attendance. Thinking that it's large crowds that set her off, I've also invited her to just *come* on one of her days off...and still, nothing. I talked it over with Graeme, a couple of friends, and one of my pastors (also our friend), and we all came to the same conclusion - that we are obviously not a priority in her life and that if by some miracle she actually came to Spencer's dedication and to our home afterwards for lunch, that it would be incredibly awkward for everyone else that came, not to mention tense for me. This was not one of those days that I wanted ruined by tension and awkwardness.
(Stay with me - that was actually relevant...)
The pastor who did the dedication - our friend Mike - approached me before the service and asked if he could say a few words about *my* family, and acknowledge that God has filled that gap with supportive friends - people who have come alongside of us as we've had to wrestle some big things over the last couple of years. I said that it would be OK if he spoke briefly to that.
I knew that I would probably get a little misty-eyed, choking back a bit of emotion when he addressed God's design in this for me, and His placement of those special people. What I didn't expect was that Mike was actually going to have those people stand up and be counted as "my family". (Normally, during the dedication, the pastor acknowledges the extended family by name - grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends that have driven from afar to be there.) The brief look of shock that registered was followed immediately by me screwing up my face in an unsuccessful attempt to hold back the tears as I saw some of my dear friends - the Walkers, the Schnells, and even Mike himself as he acknowledged himself and his wife - stand in this declaration that they are "family".
{Me desperately trying not to cry, and shushing a hungry baby at the same time. I'm all for nursing discreetly in public, but standing up in front of 200-ish people might've been pushing it a little! It was this precise moment that Mike was pointing to MaryJane and Shane Walker.}
Others would have stood if they were there. I know without a doubt that they would have. Just knowing that brings a warmth over my soul that is indescribable.
I am humbled and incredibly blessed. Even as I write this, I cannot fathom these incredible gifts that God has given me.
{One attempt at a family photo at home following the service - probably our best shot out of the whole lot!}
We spent most of the afternoon fellowshipping; Graeme's parents, my sister-in-lawDarcy, and my niece and nephew were here, as well as the Schnells, Walkers, Engbers, and Rosses. I had made pulled beef, and we had sliced up some buns for pulled beef sandwiches, and I made a yummy asian cabbage salad as well. There were well over 20 people here today; some left after a couple of hours, and others stayed for about 4 hours. A couple people brought salads to go with the meal. We made punch and iced tea and water and a veggie tray. Someone else brought cake with a blessing for Spencer written on it. We ate it with chocolate ice cream.
{the cake}
My dishwasher is full, and the counter is still piled high with larger dishes that can wait until tomorrow.
{Graeme's parents with all the kids - attempts at a grandparent photo - check out Graeme's dad's face!!}
{A better attempt. By this point Spencer had come completely unglued so we just went ahead and did all the pictures with him crying.}
{Mary Jane & Shane}
{Kerry, Michael, and Aliyah. Somehow Spencer is not crying here. Michael had quite the gift with Spencer - at one point Spencer was a complete wreck, Michael picked him up and did his "ADHD routine" with him, and the calming effect was immediate and lasted almost half an hour!}
{Christina, Mike, Cara, Rachel, and Madi}
{Tim, Lisa, Hudson, & Talliah Ross}
{Aliyah, 8 1/2 months old, sitting pretty}
{The pretty girl got pretty tired.}
{Aliyah's daddy may or may not have been messing with her...}
{Christina, Mary Jane, Rachel, and Meaghan having some fun on the trampoline. Rachel was making up some sort of game.}
Exhausted? Yes. The food preparations and housecleaning tuckered me out, and hosting a larger gathering like this is always tiring but invigorating at the same time. Spencer had an "overstimulated" day, though, and was not in his finest form. However, we celebrated him... we celebrated friendship today... we celebrated God. He is so full of goodness, and my heart overflows.
So yes, I shed a few tears today. But for the most part, they were tears of joy at Christ's mercies and gifts. He is so very good to me.
{a reality check - this is how most of the pictures turned out. Notice how I've pinned Meaghan's hand down... she had been deliberately picking her nose just to get a reaction... and how DID that skipping rope end up in Dustin's hands?}
