Nursing a Newborn - my response - updated

It all starts with her little tongue poking in and out quickly like a lizard's would.  Then she moves onto sucking her hands, and when that doesn't satisfy her rumbly tummy, she moves on to what I call "ripping off her face".  If I'm not fast enough, she cries.  It's a cute cry.  It's short-lived; she finds her destination and latches with her tiny mouth, and is soon contentedly suckling and swallowing generous amounts of comforting goodness.

I love nursing Meaghan.  I love the fact that my body - messed up as it is - can nourish and satisfy a wee birdie.  I love her cues.

Meaghan is 11 days old now.  She nurses like a pro...almost.  The first few days were a little painful - she has such a tiny mouth and her latch was ungenerous to me, but she has always gotten her fill.  She is slowly becoming more generous with her latch, and finds satisfaction sooner.

The night my milk came in was humorous.  I could feel it happening, but I didn't expect it to let down so quickly that it would come out of Meaghan's nose.  Poor girl almost drowned!  I told her she did a good job of getting Mommy's milk in.

It's largely a guessing-game, nursing a newborn.  You try to figure them out, but there IS no figuring them out at this stage.  Right now, Meaghan cluster-feeds in the late evening.  Apparently she is preparing my body for a monster-feed in the night or early morning.  I find myself waking and wishing she, too, would wake, and relieve the mounting pressure.  I am thankful for the good stretches of sleep she is getting (and therefore giving me!) in the night.  

Her first night of cluster-feeds was around the seventh or eighth night.  She spent 6 hours nursing every hour on the hour, lasting 20 minutes or more for each feed.  I found myself, though loving her, dreading the nursing cues and the birdie-mouth coming at me with her ungenerous latch again.  I was rewarded with my first 4 1/2 hour stretch of sleep after that group of feeds.  So it was worth it.  The feeling of comforting my baby was also worth any amount of discomfort she brought my way.

After I originally wrote this, I went to feed Meaghan, and thought of other phrases that I would've originally included in this post had I had my brain all together... 

...something like "milk-induced coma" - I love it when her little eyes roll back in her head in milky comfort... 

...or "painful let-down" - the let-down I experience is not that nice warm fuzzy feeling that many women are blessed with, it's more of a painful stabbing feeling through both breasts simultaneously (I've had it looked into since Joshua's nursing and have been told that everything is fine)...thankfully it only lasts about 10 seconds...

...or "nursing relaxation" - those feelings in the first day whenever Baby latches on that cause my head to spin and my body to completely relax, ready for immediate sleep... way to go for hormones!

...or even "communion" - knowing that my baby and I are one, eyes locking in peaceful solitude, if only for a few moments before Big Brothers come tearing down the hall and breaking the magic of the moment...

I'm sure I'll think of other things when next I sit or lay to feed my wee birdie...but for now, these things are what I had in mind... now back to my original post...

When I was pregnant with Meaghan, there was a large part of me that was in denial.  She was a shock and a surprise, although certainly not a mistake.  In my heart of hearts, I didn't think she would be healthy or normal, and at times, that she would even 'make it' - I had so many strange things going on with illnesses and such, and there were days where she would not move at all... I didn't let myself become attached in a lot of ways.  I didn't want to get hurt.  When I thought about nourishing her and caring for her, the thoughts turned to more of a dutiful approach rather than tenderness.

That changed in a flash the moment she was born.

There is nothing I'd rather do than cuddle, gaze at, nurse, change, swaddle, sing to, and adore my little girl.

Nothing.

**this post is in response to Paige's, Jessica's, and Stephanie's posts about nursing their wee ones.  Although I had thought about responding, I didn't really want to intrude on the sisterly alliance...but then Jess MADE me do it!  :)**